


A whole new world (a whole new life)

by JustLittleMe



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Athelstan & OC (Siblings), Brother & sister - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Graphic description of violence/rape, I won't write it all the way tho..., M/M, Rape Aftermath, Threats of Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-19 09:46:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 38,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5962837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLittleMe/pseuds/JustLittleMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tegan's life was turned upside down when the Northerners came and took her and her brother away from their lives in England. A personal conflict Tegan struggles with helps her accept her new life, and they both develop new connections and relationships they could never imagine. In the end, is it really that bad? (It probably is)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wrath of the Northmen

Thunder was racking through the sky as a girl ran across the courtyard of the monastery she had miraculously been allowed to stay at. Her dark curls was plastered to her face with water from the short run, but her smile was happy and her eyes wide with excitement. 

She slammed the door open just as a lightning bolt flew across the sky, a crack of thunder following immediately. The girl hurried inside the doors, and slammed them behind her, finally glancing at the monks sitting bent over their work, or at least that was what they were doing until she startled them by opening the doors.

Some of the older ones were scowling at her, making it very clear that they disapproved of her staying with them, even though she had been at the monastery for several months under Father Cuthbert’s blessing.

“Sorry” she muttered sheepishly, looking down to avoid the angry glances of the monks. She hurried through the room to the last bench and the man who was looking at her with an annoyed but amused expression.

“What are you doing Tegan? You’ll get sick if you keep walking around in the rain” he said as she reached him. The girl, Tegan, ignored him and focused on his paper, and the art and words he had written down on it.

“This is beautiful work, Athelstan. I see why you enjoy doing this” she smiled at him. The two siblings had had a very different upbringing, with Athelstan being sent to the monastery at an early age of 5, and Tegan staying with their parents and four siblings. Of the two of them Tegan was the one who enjoyed physical work, thus making her useful at their parents farm, and she especially loved being outside when it stormed, to her brother’s great frustration.

“You could learn more, you know. I wouldn’t hesitate to teach you” Athelstan smiled, turning back to his work. “And you really should get on some dry clothes, because you will most likely end up sick.”

“I think I will have to pass on you offer Athelstan. I love learning, especially Latin, and that other weird language, but I don’t really fancy sitting inside so much” Tegan teased, “And you know I don’t have any other clothes”. She could hear some of the other monks mutter about how she should leave them, if she really disliked sitting still so much. The two of them however, knew that Father Cuthbert would let her stay, as she was quite helpful when it came to fixing things, something she had proved to be very good at.

The pair of them kept up the polite and teasing chatter for a while, but eventually Athelstan went back to his work, and Tegan picked up a Bible, which she started to read silently while occasionally glancing out of the small window to look at the storm outside. As the night grew older, the other monks started to retreat, until all of them had left the room to sleep. Tegan glanced up from her reading, which was going slowly as her Latin was not quite as good as she liked to think. Her brother was still bent over his work, but he was yawning and his eyes kept sliding shut.

Tegan smiled softly and closed the Bible, being careful as she put it down on a table.

“Come on, brother, let’s get you to bed.” Athelstan muttered something about having to finish, but he did nothing to stop her as she took the quill from his hands and led him towards the dormitories.

When they reached the bedrooms, it seemed like it would be impossible for anyone to actually sleep there. One of the monks was sitting in a corner, praying, while the others were staring out of the window. His monastery brother’s distress seemed to waken Athelstan, who immediately left his sisters side to join his brothers by the windows. They were watching the storm, some of them jumping every time a crack of thunder broke through the sound of pouring rain.

“Did you see that, Brother Athelstan? Did you see that? Tell me you saw it!” Tegan looked around the room, keeping a constant eye on her brother as she tried calming down one of the younger monks, who looked like he were close to crying.

“Yes Brother. Yes, I saw it” Athelstan answered. He was no longer looking tired; worry had taken over his entire being, like he knew something bad was coming. He spared a quick glance over at his sister, who was smiling gently to one of his brothers, making sure that the younger monk kept calm.

“It is written, and so it has come to pass” the monk spoke out loud. Tegan’s head snapped towards them with a scowl, holding tighter onto the scared monk beside her. Multiple of the other monks in the dark room started praying, clutching at their crosses as another bolt of lightning struck through the sky. Tegan walked over to the windows, joining her brother as she stared out of the window. A second bolt of lightning lit up the room as the two siblings saw a giant serpent form in the sky.

“What does this mean, brother?” Tegan murmured, glancing away from the storm and back to the frightened monks.

“God help us, Brother Athelstan. God help us” the monk muttered. Athelstan said nothing. He looked at his sister, then back out of the window with a determined look in his eyes.

“Tegan, stay here. I have to speak with the Father Cuthbert” he said as he pushed himself away from the wall and ran out of the room. Tegan could only stare after him, knowing not to follow to see the monastery Father, as it would push her luck too far.

A choked cry called her attention back to the other people in the room. She let out a small sight and hurried over to one of the smaller beds, where the youngest monk at the monastery was sitting by himself.

“Hi there Brother Bevin. What is wrong?” she asked, sitting carefully next to him on the bed. He looked scared out of his own skin, and he was clutching his Bible as if his life depended on it. Tegan gave him a gentle smile, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“God is punishing us, isn't he Sister Tegan?” he breathed out, barely above a whisperer.

“Well, have you done something he might have to punish you for?” she asked, not bothering to correct him when he addressed her as you would address a nun.

“I don’t think so, but what if God thinks so?” he muttered, bringing the Bible close to his chest.

“I believe, Brother Bevin, that if you are certain that you have done nothing wrong, God will not punish you. And if you have done something wrong, without being aware of it yourself, how bad can the punishment be? God is forgiving, and if you know your conscious is clean, then God knows so to” Tegan tried to comfort him, but it was hard talking positively about a God she had lost faith in herself. However that was not important, because right now, Brother Bevin needed help to calm down, and if God was that help, then so be it.

“You are right Sister Tegan. How bad can it be” Bevin seemed to brighten up, and for a moment, Tegan dared to congratulate herself on job well done, then another monk decided to speak his mind.

“This is doomsday, that’s what this is! God is punishing us for all our sins, it is written, and so it shall happen!”

Tegan’s eyes opened wide as Bevin let out a frightened shriek. She stood up and walked to the centre of the room, getting everyone’s attention.

“Listen to me! Aren’t you men of God? Does that not mean you should trust in him? If this is doomsday, as you claim it is, then what bad have you done to deserve it? If you all have decided that this is God punishing you, then why do you not pray to God for forgiveness? He is loving and understanding! Pray to him, confess your sins, and beg for him to understand that you may be His men, but you are still men, and exposed to sin! And he will have to listen, if all of you ask him for forgiveness. And when this storm passes, everything will go back to normal” she said, and they seemed to actually listen to her, for once.

“Now say your prayers and go to sleep” Tegan finished in a softer tone, smiling gently back at Bevin, who seemed a bit more relaxed. The other monks seemed to calm down, if only a little, and Tegan left the room, looking for her brother.

She found him pacing the hallway, his steps aggravated and his face no longer tired.

“What is wrong, brother?” she asked him.

“Father Cuthbert refuses to listen! Doomsday is upon us, we all know it, and he will not do a thing to help us” Athelstan stressed out, and hand flying up to stroke at the bald spot on top of his head. Tegan let out a frustrated huff and walked over to him, putting an arm around his shoulders.

“Listen to me, Athelstan, maybe you’re the one who’s not listening? Have you thought about the fact that Father Cuthbert might be right? There is still a chance that this is just an ordinary storm, and everything will be okay in the morning. And aren’t you supposed to trust in God?” she ended with a slight teasing tone to her words, knowing that it would calm her brother, at least a little.

“I supposed you’re right, sister. I am just tired, I guess” he sighed, rubbing his eyes in acceptance. Tegan smiled at him as she led him towards the dormitory.

The other monks had already gone to bed, some of the already sleeping soundly. “Sleep well, brother” Tegan whispered as she led him to his bed. He muttered something in reply, his tiredness finally catching up with him.

Shaking her head in amusement, Tegan left the dormitory and went to the bedroom she had gotten for herself. Being the only woman in the monastery had gotten her some small luxuries, her own bedroom being one of them, as Father Cuthbert had thought it indecent to have a woman sleeping in the dormitory with them.

There was no one else awake, and Tegan was standing by the small window in her room while looking out at the storm. She had always loved it when it rained, it brought her comfort, as if God had decided to finally wash away some of the sins that stained the earth they lived on.

At least that is what she thought of it before, now she only enjoyed it because the sound of rain hitting the ground was calming to her. She walked away from the window and crossed the small room to kneel by her bed for her evening prayer.

“Dear God, I need your help, your guidance. I am losing faith in you. What have I done to deserve this life? Is there something I have done that has angered you? There has to be a way for me to redeem myself from whatever sin you mean I have committed. And please, please show me what I did wrong! Please let me know what I did to anger you. I have looked back, and I cannot find any clear reason for you to punish me like you have. And I see no reason for you punishing Nia for it. She was just a small child. And if this is you punishing Ianto, I do not think this is the right way to do it. I am not questioning your ways, God, but leaving me to suffer without telling me why does not seem like you. I need you to guide me back to you, Dear God, because I have lost my way. And if you could find it in your heart to forgive me for whatever sins I have broken, I will be forever grateful. And I know I am asking a lot of you, but would you please consider bringing some peace to my brother? He has been distressed all day, and I do think he will need your help in the times through the times that are coming. Amen” And with that, she went to bed.

* * *

The next morning, everything was back to normal. The skies had cleared, leaving only a heavy fog behind. Tegan had risen early that day, making sure that she made it to breakfast before anyone else, meaning she would be out before the others woke up, and outside in time to see the sun rise. It had become one of her morning routines, and when all the monks were all up, she would join them for morning mass. There she would stay in the back and watch as the monks paid their respects to God, and she silently sung along to their hymns as she kept her eyes on her brother.

Athelstan seemed completely at ease with his life as a monk, and Tegan was glad that he had finally found his place in the world. She smiled to herself as Athelstan glanced up at the altar while singing. Tegan was not completely sure what the words meant, but she had learnt them all by now, and she could tell the meaning in the song; just not translate it word for word.

Knowing that none of them would miss her if she left the room, and feeling out of place in this room where they were praying to a God she was losing faith in, she decided to leave. Making sure to keep completely quiet, she snuck out through the door.

Tegan kept smiling to herself as she wandered through the now silent monastery. She knew all the monks were inside, joining in on the morning mass, meaning that no one would stop her if she went outside the monastery walls for a short walk on the beach.

She made sure to close the gates behind her as she crept down towards the sandy shores by the bottom of the hill. When she reached the beach, she carefully stepped out of her sandals to feel the sand between her toes. Tegan buried her feet in the damp ground as she smiled up at the sky. Glancing around her carefully, as if to make sure that no one was there to see her, she took off running down the beach, reaching the freezing water within seconds.

Stopping at the point the waves started to pull back from the sand, she let the cold water wash away the sand that now covered her feet. It was refreshing, and in a silent moment it felt like she was alone. She let herself relax completely as she kept quiet and stared out at the fog covered sea.

But her peaceful silence was broken seconds after. She could hear loud, male voices shout in a language she sort of recognized from beyond the fog. For a short moment she was frozen to the stop, staring, hoping that the fog would clear up and reveal the visitors, who seemed excited, but at the same time, extremely threatening.

Tegan could feel the anxiety and fear grow in her stomach as she finally placed the language they were speaking. It was the weird northern language Athelstan had taught her. That was what brought her back. Picking up her skirts in her hand, she raced back to the monastery, not bothering to pick up her shoes as she ran past them. As she stumbled up the hill and out of sight to the beach, the men with the strange language hit the shore.

She did not bother with being quiet and respectful as she reached the doors. She banged open the main gates as she hurried through them, then she slammed them shut, hurrying to push a cart in front of it.

“Someone’s coming! Hurry! They’re here!” Tegan screamed. She ran over to the bell tower, racing up the stairs so she could warn the others. There was already a man sitting in the tower.

“You have to ring the bell. Someone has arrived at the beach, and I think they’re not here to chat” Tegan hurried out, wheezing slightly as she looked out towards the beach. The foreign men had gotten to shore, and Tegan was glad she had run. They had huge wooden shields and axes and sword that glistened in the weak sunlight. The monk followed her gaze, and as his eyes fell on the men, his entire body went rigid in fear.

“Ring the bell” was the last thing Tegan said before she raced back down the stairs to find her brother.

* * *

She found him in the courtyard, a confused look on his face.

“Tegan, why is the bell ringing?” he asked her, taking a hold of her arm and pulled her close.

“We don’t have time brother, they're already halfway up the hill. They’re coming!” she said frantically. Father Cuthbert heard her last sentence as he hurried over to them.

“Who’s coming?” he snapped out, a weird mix of worry, fear and anxiousness filled his face.

“Hell, and all its devils!” a monk shrieked as he ran past them, his eyes wide in terror.

“Lock the doors, and stay inside. All of you! Especially you, Sister Tegan” Father Cuthbert snapped out. He seemed to keep his calm, but Tegan could tell he was just as scared as anyone else in the monastery.

The monks cleared the courtyard, some of the younger monks helping Father Cuthbert inside. Tegan saw Brother Bevin run past her, and she prayed to God that he would be safe, and then she turned to her brother and prayed the same prayer for him.

Athelstan grabbed a firmer hold on her arm and pulled her away from the others. While everyone else was seeking refuge in the mass hall, kneeling by the altar and praying to God for protection, Tegan and her brother hid elsewhere. They barricaded themselves in the room where they kept the treasures the monastery got from rich Christians.

“Why aren't we with the others Athelstan? Shouldn't we stay with them?” Tegan asked. She knew fully well that they would be safer by themselves, but she was reluctant to leave the others by themselves.

“You’ll be safer here Tegan. And I had to get this” Athelstan explained as he walked over to the podium where they held their delicately engraved Bible. Tegan’s eyes went wide.

“You’re leaving your monastery brothers to save a Bible?” she asked, confused. Athelstan just nodded and hurried back to her. He took a hold of her arm and dragged her over to the podium.

“If we hide here, we’ll have a bigger chance than if we hide with the others. This is the safest place for both of us, and the Bible. God will protect us Tegan, we will be fine” Athelstan assured her. Tegan did not voice her thoughts about him being wrong. At the moment, it seemed like God had abandoned them, they were on their own.

Athelstan pushed her down to the floor behind the podium and ducked down behind her.

“We’ll be fine Tegan, I’ll protect you” Athelstan whispered, and then he prayed. Tegan couldn't help but make the same promise in her mind.

The warning bell stopped ringing, and Tegan knew that the foreigners had reached the gates, and that the last monk had went to hide. The next few minutes were silent; the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the animals chittering in the courtyard.

The unmistakable sound of the wooden gates being broken open seemed to ring through the entire monastery. Tegan shuffled closer to her brother, and grabbed a tight hold on his upper arm. Athelstan put a calming hand over hers, and clutched his Bible closer to the chest. It was completely silent for a long time, which made Tegan jump extra much when Athelstan started to mumble a prayer under his breath.

“Keep quiet” she mumbled to him, slapping his shoulder lightly. Athelstan stopped whispering and took to muttering, without making any noise at all.

It hadn't even been five minutes when the screaming started. The two siblings came to the same conclusion, the Brothers must have been praying out loud. Tegan buried her head in her brother’s shoulder and Athelstan buried his face in her hair. The two of them flinched as they heard the unmistakable sound of Bevin’s cries.

“Oh Dear God” Tegan sobbed out silently, praying that He would somehow help them. She hadn't noticed when it started, but she was crying, tears streaming down her face as she effectively choked down and silenced her sobs. Athelstan rocked her, trying to calm her down.

They both stiffened when they heard footsteps outside the door. The only sound the siblings could hear was the sound of the table they had shoved in front of the door scraping along the floorboards and the door hinges creaking. Tegan levelled her breathing, and prayed for God to forgive her sins, certain that she was about to die.

More footsteps followed the first one, and she could count three men entering the room. They didn’t say anything at first, like they were anxious, as if any of the monks were going to attack them. It had gone so quickly, from them getting to shore to the very moment she found herself in. Tegan was certain that these men had done this before.

“I don’t understand. Why would they leave such treasures unprotected? Is there some spell, or some magic that protects them?” Tegan struggled a bit with translating the sentence, but she could fully understand what the attacker was saying.

Athelstan went to move away from the podium, but Tegan held him in place, shaking her head and willing him not to do anything that could reveal them. One of the men moved over to the table standing to the side of the room, and picked up the candlestick she knew was standing there.

“It appears not” he chuckled and the two others joined in. Tegan held her breath, and pressed herself as far into the podium as possible. She could feel Athelstan’s ragged breath on her shoulder as he used his body to press her closer to the hard wood that was hiding them from the attackers.

“Maybe they think their god will protect them” the third voice spoke out. Somehow, Tegan found his voice much calmer, and more commanding than the others, but still humble somehow, like he was their leader, but not…

“This is their god, and he’s dead, hanging from a cross” the second voice spoke again, after a small thump, which Tegan assumed was him setting down the candlestick.

“He can’t protect anyone! He’s not alive like Odin, Thor or Frey” the first voice said. Tegan held her breath as the three men shuffled around in the room, and she couldn't help but wonder who these weirdly named gods were, and if there was possibility for there to be other gods than God.

“What use is he then?” the second one chuckled again. Tegan could feel Athelstan shuffle even closer to her, he moved his foot carefully, and that was their downfall.

Athelstan stepped on a creaky floorboard; the sound of groaning wood was, at that moment, the loudest noise Tegan had ever heard. Her breath hitched as she looked up at her brother in panic. Athelstan’s eyes were wide in terror, and he looked back at her with a sincere apology in his face. Tegan nodded back at him, letting him know that she forgave him whatever happened next.

Determined steps walked closer to the podium, and Tegan bit back a small shriek, and kept her fear hidden by clutching her brother’s robes harder. She closed her eyes tight as she held her breath. The room was completely silent, and none of the siblings dared move a single muscle.

Athelstan was ripped from Tegan’s hold by one of the men, and thrown to the floor in front of the podium with a splutter of protest. Tegan kept kneeling behind the wooden table in hope that she hadn't been noticed, but it seemed like God really had abandoned her.

The man was over her in seconds, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to her feet. She, however, was not thrown to the floor next to her brother, but held closely to the strange man, who shifted his grip to hold a hand to her throat, as to stop her from running. He slowly pulled out a knife and held it out in front of him, a silent threat to both the siblings.

“Please don’t hurt her!” Athelstan yelped out in the same language as the men had just spoken in. Tegan sent him a look, willing him to keep his mouth shut just this once.

“He speaks our language” the man who seemed like the leader said grimly.

The other men’s eyes widened and they pulled Athelstan to his feet. Tegan struggled against her captor’s hold as she heard her brother groan in pain, but she stopped abruptly as the knife was help up to her neck.

“How do you speak our language?” the leader asked calmly, but Tegan knew he was getting anxious, as the pressure on the knife at her throat was increasing. She looked over at her brother, pleading with him to tell them something that would remove the knife from her neck, but he seemed frozen in fear.

“He travelled! Tell them Athelstan!” Tegan cried out, she could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew that she would put herself in more danger if she revealed that she could speak their language too, but no way was she letting her brother put himself in any more risk.

“You know it too? How?” the man barked, seeming to get more anxious. The knife was pressed harder against her throat, finally breaking her skin, she could feel a small trickle of blood streaming down her chest and staining her dress.

“Brother!” Tegan cried out, no longer feeling brave enough to speak up against this man.

“It’s true! I’ve travelled! We’re told to travel to spread the word of God! I learned it, and I taught her. Please, don’t kill us!” Athelstan stuttered out. Tegan lifted her hand to move her captor’s knife away from her, but he only used his other arm to pin hers to her sides.

She had no idea what went through the man’s head, or if something Athelstan did made him change his mind, but the knife was lowered from her throat, and both of them were freed.

The second she was free to move as she pleased, she had thrown herself into her brother’s arms, sobbing into his shoulder. Athelstan did not lower his face into her hair like he used to, as he opted to keep an eye on the men as he carefully stroke his sister’s back, his Bible pressed between them.

A firm hand grabbed Tegan’s shoulder and dragged them apart. She struggled for a moment, but the look Athelstan sent her made her comply.

“What is that you have in your hand?” the man asked. His hold on Tegan loosened, but his hand stayed put.

“Our book. It contains the word of God, I wanted to-” Athelstan’s explanation was cut off as the man, surprisingly gently, pushed Tegan aside and took the Bible from her brother’s hands. He flipped through the pages carelessly, when Tegan had done the same only few months prior, Father Cuthbert had scolded her, but neither of the siblings were brave enough to tell the wild looking man to be careful.

It was the first time Tegan had gotten a proper look on the man. He was strongly built, all three of them were, the leader had one of the weirdest haircuts Tegan had ever seen, including her brother’s bald spot, he had shaved the sides of his head, but the hair on the top of his head fell into a long braid that hung down his back. And he had the bluest eyes Tegan had ever seen, even bluer than the ones she shared with her brother.

“Of all the treasures I see in this place, you chose to save this?” Tegan was not sure if it was a question or not, and Athelstan looked too stunned by the man’s poor way of handling the holy book to form a proper answer.

While the exchange between the man and her brother went on, she carefully inspected the room, looking for a way out. But the only opening large enough for her to get through was the door and that was guarded by the two other scruffy looking men, who both sent her a maniac glare.

“Yes” Athelstan breathed out, finally gathering his thoughts long enough to form an answer.

“Why?” his voice was curious, as he could not fathom why Athelstan would risk his life for a book. Athelstan didn't answer the question, his confusion and fear finally catching up with him.

The man’s patience seemed to wear of, and in a movement almost too quick for Tegan to catch, he had her brother pressed between him and the podium.

“Why?” the man asked again, his face mere inches from Athelstan’s face. Tegan knew her brother, even though she hadn't seen him for a big part of her life, and she knew that he was way too terrified to form a proper answer.

“Because it’s his job! To spread and protect the word of God!” Tegan yelped out, stepping forward to get the man of her brother, but she stopped abruptly when the other men moved for their weapons. The man pushed the Bible into Athelstan’s hands, and turned towards her, stepping away from her brother. Tegan felt relief that Athelstan would get some room to gather his thoughts, but she couldn't help but feel scared as he was now approaching her.

“And why is that so important?” he asked, his head tilted to the side, just like Tegan had seen one of the puppies do the other day.

“Because without the word of God, there is only darkness” Athelstan finally managed to stumble out, and Tegan breathed a sigh of relief, happy that the man stopped his steps towards her. He had stopped exactly between the two siblings, and glanced from Tegan to Athelstan and back.

“Who is she to you?” he asked, clearly addressing Athelstan even while he was looking at Tegan. She bristled up, feeling her hot temper return as she carefully glared at him.

“I'm his sister!” she snapped, but she immediately shrunk back as the man narrowed her eyes at her. He crossed the room to tower over her. Athelstan made a small sound of protest, but he didn't move as if he was nailed to the spot by the other men’s glare.

“Are you married? Where is your husband?” he asked, placing a hand on her hip. Tegan wanted nothing more than push him away, but she saw the knife glistening in the small stream of light that came through the window, so she let him.

“He’s dead” she answered coldly, not wanting to have this conversation with a life-threatening stranger. The man hummed his answer and turned away from the siblings, who were not slow to be in each other’s arms again, though this time it was uncertain who was comforting who.

“Are you okay?” Athelstan whispered in their own language, pulling away just enough so he could inspect the small wound on her throat.

“I'm fine, it’s just a scratch. I've had worse” Tegan assured him. The three men looked at them curiously, but they had no time to demand any more answers, as a fourth man entered the room. He was, if possible, even bigger than the three others. His long hair was flowing freely down his back, only his bangs kept away from his face, fastened to the back of his head. He had multiple weapons fastened to his back, and a maniac looking axe clutched in one hand.

He walked silently as he inspected the treasures in the room, giving of the feeling that he was more dangerous than the man with the blue eyes, though Tegan still believed that blue-eyes was the leader.

“This is a strange place indeed. We have been everywhere, and we have found no women. Except this one, it seems. Some of the men have taken to use the younger boys, and gods how they squeal ” he spoke, his once disappointed look turning into one of glee as his eyes fell on Tegan.

Athelstan, who might not have any experience when it came to the matter, seemed to know what the man was thinking. He instinctively took a small step forward and pushed Tegan behind him, placing himself between his sister and what Tegan could only describe as heathens, or barbarians.

“Other than her, there are just these strange men” the man continued.

“I believe the men are the priests of their god” blue-eyes explained calmly. Athelstan grabbed for Tegan’s hand as he panted sharply, and she offered all the consolation she could by rubbing her thumb along his hand.

“Think what you will” the man chuckled, earning gleeful laughs from the two other men.

“Why have you not killed this one?” he continued, pointing to Athelstan, and then his eyes wandered over to Tegan, taking in her curves. ”And this one, Ragnar, did you plan to keep her to yourself?”

“He is worth more alive, to sell as a slave. And yes, I intend to keep the girl, but you’re welcome to borrow her. As long as I get her back unharmed” blue-eyes, Ragnar, spoke.

“I will kill him, there are no room left on the boat. The girl must come, obviously, as we don’t want anything to… happen to her” the man said lowly, stepping towards the two siblings. Athelstan clutched onto Tegan’s hand and the Bible, praying frantically in Latin under his breath. Tegan used her other hand to grab tightly onto her brothers robes, trying to hide herself between his shoulder blades. They both knew that whatever these men decided to happen would happen, as neither of them was strong enough to fight them.

“I forbid it” Tegan’s glance snapped towards Ragnar. Why was he protecting them? “I forbid you to kill the priest. You can borrow the girl, but I want them both alive”

Tegan tensed up, she knew exactly what would happen now. She had been through it before with Ianto and his friends, and she was no happier about it now than she had been then.

“How can you forbid, little brother? You may think you’re being fair in letting me “borrow” the girl, but shouldn’t we all get to share? We’re all equals, are we not?” the question seemed sarcastic, and Tegan could feel the tension between the two men, who happened to be brothers?

“And I say he dies” the other man said gravely.

“No!” Tegan shrieked out, pushing Athelstan behind her as the other man went to step towards them. There was no need, however, as Ragnar refused to move and shoved his brother back with his shoulder.

The two of them were breathing heavily, and Tegan was afraid that they would start fighting.

“Does his death really mean that much to you brother?” Ragnar bit out, and Tegan stepped backwards, pushing her brother further back into the room. Athelstan was clutching onto her hand and the Bible frantically, his breath coming out as short and terrified huffs.

No one said anything. One of the other men moved around the room, collecting the silver pieces the monastery had been gifted with, but no one said anything, and Tegan’s eyes were glued to the stare-off between the two brothers in front of her.

A small sob seemed to pull her out of her trance, and she spun around to face her younger brother.

“Hey, Athelstan, calm down brother. We’ll be fine, I promise, I won’t let them hurt you” she whispered to him, stroking his cheek. She used her thumb to dry away a single tear that had escaped the corner of his eye. Giving her brother a calming smile and a gentle squeeze, she kissed his forehead before she turned back to the heathens.

“Please, don’t harm him. I will do anything if you let him live” she begged, careful to keep her voice calm and strong, if not for her own sake, then for the sake of her brother’s sanity.

“What?! Tegan, no!” her brother protested, but she had already gotten the four men’s attention.

“Really? You would let us do whatever we want to you, just so your brother can live?” Ragnar asked. If the situation had been any different, Tegan would think that he looked impressed, but she would not think that highly of these men.

“No! She would not!” Athelstan protested, but he was promptly ignored.

“As long as you allow me to see him, and as long as you can guarantee that he won’t be harmed” Tegan answered, her chin raised high with as much dignity as the situation would allow her.

“Well, how can we say no to an offer like that? Will you take the honour, Rollo?” Ragnar glanced from Tegan’s determined face and over to his brother.

“Of course” the man, Rollo, answered immediately.

“I want her back afterwards; I need something to bring back for Bjorn. You do whatever you want, just don’t harm her too much” Ragnar commented and waved his hand at Tegan, stepping out of the way for his brother.

Rollo smirked darkly as he stepped towards Tegan, but before he could get to her, Athelstan had pressed himself in front of her, a terrified but determined look on his face.

“Don’t touch her!” he snapped, his voice weak and frail, with no real anger behind it, just fear and absolute horror.

“Calm down, Athelstan! I will be fine, and you will be safe! I know what I'm doing, okay? Just trust me on this” Tegan said calmly, in their own language.

“I won’t let them do this to you, Tegan” Athelstan protested, also slipping into their native tongue.

“Relax. I promise you I know what I'm doing. It is either this or death, Athelstan, and I would really like for us both to survive this” she assured him. Tegan stroke his cheek and smiled gently at him, lovingly kissing his forehead before turning back to Rollo.

“What did you speak about?” the man asked lowly. It was obvious to Tegan that Rollo could not care less about what she had said to her brother, but she answered anyway.

“I was reasoning with him. This option is better than death” she said calmly, her voice dead, not even her face betrayed a single emotion. It was a form of body language she had developed only a few weeks after she had married Ianto, and over the years she had perfected it.

“I agree completely” Rollo smirked dangerously. He walked over to her and grabbed her bottom, while he pushed Athelstan harshly into Ragnar.

“Remember brother, not a scratch” Ragnar called out as he grabbed Tegan’s brother by the upper arm. Rollo wrapped his other hand around her waist and pulled her flush against his body as he started nibbling and…smelling her neck? Tegan sent Athelstan a small smile over Rollo’s shoulder as he was dragged sobbingly out of the room, the heathens taking all the silver, then the door closed behind them.

“You’re not as pure and innocent as the men here, are you. You've done this before” Rollo spoke in a low voice, almost like a growl as the hand that was keeping Tegan trapped against him started travelling up her back, and finally settled on her back of her neck, taking a firm hold of her hair. “You've been used in a bargain earlier, haven’t you?”

“Yes” Tegan faked a groan, hoping it sounded like it was from pleasure and not from disgust. This was something she was familiar with, every time she had done this had been slightly different, but the one thing every man had enjoyed, was when they thought she enjoyed it as much as they did. And by experience, that usually made them less violent, so Tegan hoped this also applied to Rollo.

She could feel him smirking into the skin on her neck, where he was still biting and creating marks. In a movement that made her beyond dizzy, Rollo had spun her around. His left hand was cupping her right breast and his right hand was resting just below her navel.

“You’re enjoying this, aren't you?” he whispered, his tongue slipping out to play with her earlobe. Tegan didn't answer; she just let out a low moan, hoping it would satisfy him.

It did, he moved her over to the podium and bent her over it, making her bottom stand out. He reached down for the hem of her dress, and he let his fingers trail along her legs as he pulled the heavy fabric up to her hips. A shiver of distaste and fear went through her, but Rollo must have seen it as a sign of pleasure, as he bent over her and mumbled in her ear: “A nasty little harlot, that’s what you are”.

Rollo had taken his time, but he was far from the slowest Tegan had ever been forced to have sex with… raped by. He climbed of her with a grunt, not even bothering to pull her dress down again. Tegan refused to stay bended over the podium for more time than necessary, so she quickly stood up and straightened her clothes.

“So this is your god?” Rollo asked. Tegan just nodded in reply, not sure whether the question was rhetoric or not. He stepped further away and eyed a wooden carving of Jesus Christ hanging on a cross. Before Tegan could register what was happening, Rollo had used his axe to break the carving with two violent swings. Tegan gasped out a sound of surprise, not believing that he would go as far as to actually ruin something related to her God, but she knew she should have known better.

“That is what I care for your gods” Rollo snapped as he towered over her, grabbing a tight hold of her hair. Tegan had never felt as small as she did in that moment, not even with Ianto, and she hated it. But there was nothing she could do, so she just kept her glance fastened at the now broken carving and nodded silently.

Rollo let go of her hair and fumbled with his belt for a second. Tegan was left to wonder what he was doing, but her unanswered question was silenced as he started to wrap a thin piece of rope around her wrists. The knot he tied might have been a tad too tight, but Tegan was not about to complain. She just silently let him work, and calmly walked in front of him as he pushed her towards the door.

They met up with the others out in the courtyard. Athelstan was standing of to the side with a few other monks that were still alive, Tegan was happy to see that Brother Bevin was one of them. Ragnar was standing close by, repeatedly glancing over at her brother. Rollo pushed her towards the other prisoners.

Bevin was the one who saw her first, and he breathed out a sigh of relief, his shoulder sagging out of their previously tense position. He nudged her brother, making sure not to make a huge movement out of it.

“Tegan, thank God that you are okay” Athelstan muttered, and hugged her as best he could with his hands bound, clutching onto something hidden in his robes.

“I'm fine Athelstan, and you’re fine, just like I told you” she muttered into his shoulder, taking his hands in hers. She could faintly hear Rollo thanking Ragnar in the background, and she promptly blocked out their voices.

“That was stupid of you, sister, you did not have to do that” Athelstan scolded her silently, glancing around to make sure no one heard them.

“It was okay, brother, I told you; I knew what I was doing. I was not harmed in any way. And of course I had to do it. It was either that or seeing you killed” Tegan smiled back, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Athelstan just shook his head, but he let the conversation die flat.

“We’re moving out!” Ragnar called out, and the sibling’s attention snapped to him. He was looking over at a burning building and the thin man who cheerfully walked towards him. Tegan’s eyes widened, it was the workshop, where Athelstan had spent hours of his time working on his papers. She quickly moved her glance back to her brother who was holding back tears and biting his lip harshly, nearly drawing blood.

She just held his hand a little tighter as a sign of comfort, knowing there was nothing she could do to make things better for him.

They were all pushed out of the gates to the monastery, Athelstan, Tegan, Bevin, and three other monks walking behind each other, with their attackers both behind and in front of them, there was no way they could escape.

When they were halfway to the beach, Athelstan turned to look at the monastery, which was now glowing with red flames.

"Look” he whispered sadly, desperation glowing in his eyes. Tegan wanted to say something, to somehow make things better for him, but she had no time to do so before they were pushed and pulled along.

“Keep them moving!” someone yelled from the group of heathens, and Tegan didn't bother to try and find out where it had come from.

They stumbled along the path, struggling with their balance as their hands were tied, but they managed without falling to many times.

* * *

When they reached the beach, some of the fog from earlier that morning had clear up, and Tegan could now clearly see the strangely shaped boat they had arrived with. It was unlike anything she had ever seen.

They were all loaded into a smaller boat and rowed out to the bigger one; where they were all pushed down to sit around the mast. Tegan ended between her brother and Bevin, something she was grateful for, as she felt a need to protect both of the younger men, even though there was nothing she could do. Athelstan was quiet, silently watching his now burning home, and Bevin was silently crying and praying under his breath.

All the monks were showing signs of obvious terror, and she wanted to do something that would calm them down, but it was impossible for her to move without any of their captors noticing, and she would rather draw as little attention as possible. She relaxed a little when she noticed that most of them had pulled themselves together enough to pray, Athelstan included. Her brother gritted his teeth and pulled his hood up to cover his head, and for the first time that day, did Tegan notice how cold it was, her still naked feet going stiff with cold. She ignored it, not wanting to say anything unless absolutely necessary.

Bevin was not doing as well as the others. He was struggling with calming his sobbing, so Tegan took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently. She could, however, not help but feel the same despair filling her as their attackers, now also kidnappers, started to row the boat away from the shore, away from the monastery, and away from England.


	2. The farm and the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thank you, for the offer, but my brother needs me" the "maybe next time" went unsaid.

Tegan was freezing cold. Her entire being was shaking, and she could hardly feel her toes. They had been at sea for a very long time, exactly how long, Tegan was unable to say, but she had seen the sun rise twice, and the wind was still as strong as the day they had been taken. She was still sitting between Athelstan and Bevin, refusing to do anything that could attract the heathens attention. Athelstan had not moved either, except from the times he had carefully moved the Bible into view. 

Tegan glanced around her, taking in the men around her for what seemed like the hundredth time. The northerners were rough, in every way, from the way they spoke to the way they behaved, even their clothes seemed somehow wilder than anything Tegan had ever seen. She was a little intrigued, but also scared. She knew what was most likely to become of her, as Rollo had made it quite obvious how these strange men treated women. Whether she had been raped simply because she was a women, or if it was because she was a prisoner, she was not certain of, though she suspected that they treated their own women a little better than they treated their slaves. 

The men around her were talking among themselves, laughing and smiling as they messed around with the treasures they had taken from the monastery. She caught snippets of the conversations around her, but her body was to cold for her head to focus on translating all the words.

Rollo was standing not far from where Tegan was sitting, but her barely looked at her, only occasionally glancing at her from the corner of his eye with a small smirk playing on his lips. The leader, Ragnar, was laying by the back of the boat, seeming completely at ease on the open sea. Tegan was worried, and she knew her brother felt the same, they had never travelled this far away from land before, and they had no clue where they were going. Had she known her destination and known what God wanted for her with this, she would might have enjoyed the long trip across the open sea, but all the uncertainty about her situation made her uncomfortable and down right scared. She refused to show this however, as she wanted to look strong, not only on front of the north-men, but for Bevin and her brother as well.

A violent shiver went through Tegan's body, making Athelstan aware of her freezing body. He moved his hand silently, grabbed a hold of her dress, pulling her tightly against him. He took her hands in his, trying to get some warmth into them, but she was far to cold for it to make a difference.

Tegan looked up at her brother, but he was not looking back, instead he had taken to silently glare at Ragnar, who only smiled back smugly, putting his hands behind his head.

"He could at least have given you something to keep you warm. And some decent shoes" he muttered under his breath, making sure to keep to their language, so the northerners would not understand.

"What was that, Priest? Care to translate?" Ragnar's voice spoke from where he sat. Some of the other monks looked up, uncertain if Ragnar had spoke to them or not, but the blue eyed man kept his glance on Athelstan.  Her brother looked down at his hands, avoiding the intense look Ragnar gave him. He muttered something under his breath, but not even Tegan could tell what language, and much less what, it was he spoke. 

"You have to speak up, Priest, I can't hear you" Ragnar grinned. 

"It was nothing of importance" Tegan spoke up, hoping to get Ragnar's attention away from her brother and over to her instead. But the north-man ignored her.

"If you have something to say, I would like to have you say it out loud, so I can hear you" Ragnar said again. Several of the men around them had stopped their conversation so that they could watch what would happen.

"I said that my sister needs something that can keep her warm" Athelstan said, this time in the northern language, loud enough for Ragnar to hear it. Her brother, in his innocence, had not noticed the hidden meaning his words had, and when the men around them started laughing, confusion covered his face. Many of the men joked, saying that they would happily keep her warm. Tegan made sure not to reveal any emotions, knowing fully well that most of the attention were now on the three of them, Athelstan, Ragnar and her self.

"So you want your sister warm, do you? I have many ways to make that happened" Rollo spoke, making his way over to them. The others laughed loudly, leaning on each other as they took in Athelstan's flushed face when he finally realized what his sentence could mean.

"I meant, that she is cold, and a blanket or something would ensure that she does not get sick" he muttered.

Tegan had no idea how he was hear over the loud ruckus the men caused, but Ragnar rose from his seat, bringing a blanket over to them. Making sure to keep eye contact with Athelstan the entire time, he draped the blanket over Tegan's shoulders, who immediately pulled the rough fabric tightener against her. 

"Happy now, Priest?" Ragnar asked, but Athelstan refused to answer, not knowing whether the blue eyed man was angry or not. He calmed down slightly however, as Ragnar let out a wide grin and went back to his previous spot, dumping back down into his earlier position.

* * *

The rest of the trip passed by uneventfully, and later that day, they finally saw land. They had taken the sails down, creating a tent over the open space of the boat, so Tegan couldn't really see for certain exactly how the land looked like, but the men seemed to be a bit more fidgeting than normal, they almost seemed nervous for some reason. Tegan saw, in the corner of her eye, Ragnar whispering something to Rollo, and Rollo smiling softly before he answered. 

Ragnar patted his brother on the shoulder before he made his way towards her, but she could see that his eyes were fastened on Athelstan. Her brother, however, didn't notice, as he had buried his face in his Bible, either in an attempt to hide or comfort himself. The blue eyed leader crouched down in front of the siblings, his eyes still fastened to Athelstan.

"What is your name?" he asked, after drying away some of the water covering his face with his hands. Tegan was slightly confused by his question, surely he must have caught it while they were talking in the monastery? Her brother looked uncomfortable with the sudden attention, and he was hesitant to look up.

"Athelstan" The reply was nearly whispered down into the Holy Book in front of him, and Tegan put a comforting hand on his thigh, hoping to help him clam his nerves.

"I am Ragnar Lothbrok" came the reply, which surprised Tegan, she had not expected him to tell them his name. It was clearly that he spoke directly to her brother, but he couldn't be angry at her for catching his name when she was sitting so close, with no ways to move away.

"What was that place called?" came the next question. Athelstan squirmed in his seat, and Tegan knew she should say something to help him, but she was not certain how this Ragnar Lothbrok would react if she interfered with the obviously private conversation he had decided to have with her brother.

"Lindisfarne" Athelstan's voice was shaking when he answered, and Tegan understood him. Lindisfarne monastery had been his home since he was eight years old, he had known the monks there better than he knew his real family, Tegan included.

"England?" the north-man's eyes lit up in excitement.

"Yes" muttered her brother back. Tegan hoped that that was the last she would hear and see Ragnar talking with her scared little brother for a while, but she knew that Athelstan tended to act rashly when he was stressed, and the look she could see in his eyes told her that he was going to say something that might anger the obviously stronger man.

"It was foretold that divine punishment would fall upon God's chosen people for all our grievous sins, and so it has happened. And that is why I am here" Athelstan's eyes was wide with both determination and innocence at the same time. He's words were biting, bit it was not like he was blaming Ragnar for what happened to him. It seemed more like he was defying the strange man by saying that it was God's decision to have him capture, not the skill of the warriors.

Tegan could not help but sigh silently at her brother's naivety.

"No. You are here because I spared your life. As is your sister, your God was not the reason for her survival, it was me" Ragnar grinned, almost victorious. Athelstan was silent for a short moment, like he was wondering something. His face was thoughtful and almost curious when he asked his next question.

"Why did you spare our lives?" Tegan wanted to smack him, but she settled whit closing her eyes and sighing, almost to loudly by the way Bevin looked up at her with a worried expression. Ragnar took his time before answering, like he was asking himself the same question. He spared a quick glance over to his brother, who was seated with his back towards them. When the answer came, Tegan couldn't help but worry more than she already did.

"I do not know yet. With your sister, there was obvious reasons, as Rollo has already demonstrated for her, but you, Little Priest, I do not know" Ragnar stood up, and walked away with a small grin, like he enjoyed playing with Athelstan.

Tegan turned her full attention towards her brother, recognizing the look on his face from when they were still small. He was scared, terrified even, and Tegan understood.

"That was foolish brother. I understand your curiosity, but I do think it would be best not to ask the man that saved our lives, why he did it. Especially when it seems like he has no real reason to keep us alive" she muttered to him, taking his hand in hers.

"I know sister, but I couldn't help it. And he said he do have a reason to keep you alive" he protested, but Tegan only shook her head.

"You know just as well as I do that I would not want to survive if you were to die. And I do not have a single doubt that his men have other slaves to tend to their needs back at their home" she argued, and Athelstan did not speak up against her.

* * *

 

The two of them kept silent for a long while after that, Tegan only speaking up to calm Bevin down, who had started hyperventilating when they sailed into the passage between two mountains. The men had put the sail up again, leaving the view open to Tegan, who were mesmerized by the raw beauty of the new country they had arrived in. Had she been here for any other reason than being a prisoner, she would had considered just running of into the mountains. It was a foolish wish, and she would most likely die during the first night, but dying in the woods in a land that seemed nearly magical was a better options than the life that was waiting for her with these strange men. Had it not been for Athelstan and her bound hands, she would have been halfway up the mountain side by now, wringing the cold water out of her hair.

Tegan had not been paying attention as to what was happening in the boat, so she jumped when her brother's voice came out loud and clear next to her.

"Ragnar Lothbrok"

Ragnar and the man he had been talking to, a tall lankier man with little hair and coal smudges under his eyes, turned towards them. 

"What is it?" Ragnar asked, giving her brother a short nod.

"Brother Cenwulf, here beside me, I think he's dead" came Athelstan's reply. Tegan held back a chocked noise of shock. She had never been close to Brother Cenwulf, but he had been kind the times they did talk. She had been helping him out with a cough he had been struggling with for a while, so it shouldn't really be a surprise for her that he did not make the trip across the freezing ocean.

Ragnar rose from his seat and walked over to them. He ended up right behind Tegan, leaning over the siblings as he pushed Cenwulf's head, trying to get a reaction.

"You're right. Leif" 

Another one of the men, Leif, came over, and together him and Ragnar managed to throw Brother Cenwulf's body over the side of the boat. There was a huge splash when Cenwulf's limp body hit the water, and Athelstan whimpered as he sunk as far into his sister as possible. Tegan buried her face in his shoulder, willing away the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

The other monks were frozen with fear, and looked absolutely horrified by what the heathens had just done. The man Ragnar had spoken to earlier, the tall and lanky one, giggled gleefully off the fearful expressions on the monks faces.

"May God rest your soul, Brother Cenwulf" Athelstan did not say it loudly, but it still attracted the attention the attention of Leif, who stood nearby, and Ragnar, who were leaning against the mast they were sitting around.

"E nomine patri, e filii, et spiritus sancti. Amen." Athelstan muttered, and Tegan joined him in the prayer for the dead Brother's soul.

Their mourning was broken when the lanky man stood up in the bow of the boat, cheering. He climbed onto the dragon head formation that adorned the bow, and continued his joyous cheering as they sailed further into the fjord.

* * *

 

After a long journey, they had finally reached the town where the heathens were from. It was not a big town, and back in England, it would only have been a small village, much like the one Tegan and Athelstan came from. The town's people were standing by the docks when they arrived, men, women and children alike, all looking just as harsh and wild as the men that captured them did.

When the boat docked, multiple people came forward to help unload the stolen treasure, welcoming their friends back from a long journey. Tegan struggled a little to understand everything that was being said, but she caught most of the conversations that was going on around her.

"We'll drink well tonight my friend" she could hear Rollo say to another man when Ragnar came over to her and her brother. Several men came into the boat, where they grabbed Tegan, Athelstan and the other monks. They were all forced up on the docks and down on their knees.

Some of the men were taking in Tegan, pointing at her and whispering among each other while they let their eyes wander. She had no doubt in her mind of what they were thinking about, and she prayed to God that they would not follow through with any of it. 

A rope was fastened around her neck, uncomfortably tight, but not to tight to keep her from breathing. She heard someone talk about the riches left behind in England in the background, and yet again, she prayed to whatever god willing to listen that they would not go back, though a small part of her knew that her only chance at ever seeing England again was if these people decided to go back. 

"Are you okay Tegan?" Athelstan muttered in the Saxon language, turning his upper body towards her. They had been placed next to each other on the wooden docks, but they had been separated from the other monks, only by a few meters, but still further than Tegan would have liked.

"I have been worse, Athelstan. What about yourself?" she asked.

"I don't know what to do. This was not what I wanted to happen when you came to me for help" her brother looked near tears, and Tegan's heart ached for him.

"None of this is your fault brother. You know what would have happened had I stayed at my home. One of the other farmers would have forcefully taken it from me. I would have either been killed or married to someone else, you know that. Another forced marriage to one of the respectless bastards that were interested in my land was not something I would go through again. My only option was seeking you out, what happened after that was none of our faults. We could not have known that these people would come" Tegan spoke softly.

"But I knew about the prophecy, I knew we were going to be punished, and I still let you stay. I risked your life,Tegan, just because I didn't want to see you sad. And look where that led us" Athelstan chocked back a sob, tears filling his eyes.

"If this is God punishing you, dear brother, then I do not regret coming to you when I did. I would rather be here with you, than having you stuck with these heathens all by yourself" Tegan smiled reassuringly.

Their conversation was cut of when the people around them started cheering. What they were cheering for, Tegan was not certain of, as she had been concentrating on Athelstan at the time the annunciation was made. Ragnar and Rollo was not cheering along however, so she suspected that it had something to do with them.

There was no more time to think it through, as Ragnar stepped onto the dock for the first time since they arrived, Tegan and Athelstan was forced to their feet, and Ragnar took the ends of the rope that were tied around their necks, dragging them along like they were animals.

"Knut. You're too late. You missed the boat" Ragnar stopped to speak to a man who was silently watching the commotion, a smug grin filling his face.

"I have come to tell you that Earl Haraldson summons you to attend him in the great hall" the man now known as Knut said, confirming Tegan's thoughts of Ragnar not actually being in charge..

"It would be a pleasure" Ragnar spoke after a brief pause. He showed of another happy grin before he dragged the siblings along the docks, people pointing and touching them as they went by. They were mostly interested in Athelstan's bald spot, but there were not few of them who let their hands wander across Tegan's torso and bottom.

As they walked through the town, Tegan could not help but notice the differences between England and the place they were at now. England seemed more put together and organised than these people, the heathens also seemed more ragged and wild, at the same time was they seemed happier and freer than any Christian Tegan had ever met. 

* * *

In a house that Tegan assumed was about in the middle of the village, they met the man who she thought to be the leader. He was sitting on a raised seat, much like a throne, on a podium, overlooking the audience that filled the great hall. The treasures that had been taken form Lindisfarne was laid out in front of the man, and the woman who was sitting beside him. Tegan had concluded that she must be his wife.

Tegan and her brother was standing off to the sideline, while Ragnar was standing proudly in front of his leaders judging eyes, still holding onto their leashes. Another small fat man was walking around, looking at the treasures, he put down a golden bowl and nodded up to the man that was sitting on the throne. Earl Haraldson, according to the man Ragnar had spoken to earlier.

"My Lord, it was easy to take these things. The priests in the temple, they had no weapons, they were like babies" Ragnar spoke out, like he was preparing to defend himself against something. Tegan let out a small gasp as Ragnar tugged at her brother's leash, forcing Athelstan to stand by his side. Ragnar grabbed a tight hold on Athelstan's neck, forcing him to look up at the Earl in front of them.

"Here is one of their priests. We captured several of them to sell for slaves" Athelstan was pushed away from the podium, and he practically fell into Tegan, but his sister steadied them both, clutching her brothers hands in her own, the Bible Athelstan had rescued from the temple clutched between them. 

"It must be true that there are many more such places in England, and other lands to the west. Likewise filled with such treasure. And to sail there would benefit us all" Tegan got the feeling that Ragnar was crossing a line, as the Earl in front of them seemed more and more aggravated as Ragnar continued his speech about how easy it was to acquire the treasures they had brought back. The people around them were nodding along with Ragnar's words, but the Earl seemed less convinced, and his wife seemed anxious, rubbing her hands together as she glanced around the room.

Earl Haraldson rose form his seat with a sigh. "How did you find this place of great riches, when all before you had failed?" he asked.

"My Lord, we were more fortunate than others" this time, Ragnar's voice was more quiet, almost as if he were submitting to the Lord. Tegan decided that it did not suit him, not being in charge, and it was weird for her to wish that Ragnar actually was the leader, as it would be better for Ragnar. She calmed herself down by assuring herself that Ragnar had saved her and her brother's life, and that the Earl seemed less likely to keep them alive than Ragnar was.

"We had Thor on our side" the name Ragnar spoke was unfamiliar to Tegan, but she had heard it before. One of the men had talked about this Thor the day they were attacked. He was probably one of their gods, as it seemed like they had multiple gods, and not just one, like she had.

The crowd around them started chanting the name of this strange god, and Tegan couldn't help but wonder how their gods were different form her God. Was the heathen's gods the reason for their freedom?

"Yes. Then you were indeed fortunate" the Earl said. The shift that came in the Earl was nearly impossible to see, but Tegan noticed that he went from frustrated to victorious in seconds. "But you understand that all of this belongs to me, by right?"

Ragnar froze, every single one of the men that had been on the boat form England had shock covering their faces, and the disappointment and anger oozed from them all.  

"My Lord, me and Floki paid for the boat. Surely we are entitled to some of reward, and my crew" Ragnar protested, but judging by the look on the Earl's face, it was a weak defence.

"You want me to pay you, when you took these things as easily as from babies?" the crowd laughed, suddenly turning sides and mocking Ragnar instead of hailing him, as they had done just moments ago. Earl Haraldson let a smug smirk cover his face as he glanced through the room. He looked back to watch his wife's reaction. She did not seem to agree, however, as she warningly shook her head, just enough to be noticeable, and the Earl turned towards Ragnar again. "Here's what I've decided to do. Each one of you, can take one thing from this haul"

"One?" came a shocked sound of protest from somewhere behind Tegan.

"Yes! And you'll still be richer than you were before" the Earl snapped, his patience wearing thin. The crowd started to mutter around them, as if in shock. "Now, the whole world can see how magnanimous and generous is you Lord, especially since you disobeyed me. So, Ragnar Lothbrok, what will you choose" Earl Haraldson sat back down and gestured with a hand over the treasures. 

Tegan knew, that at this point, her brother and herself was considered a part of the haul, barely human, and that if someone from the crew decided to keep one of them, the other would go somewhere else, and they would be separated for God knows how long.

Tegan turned fully towards her brother as she felt his body starting to shake. She tightened her grip on his hand and used her other to force his face up, just enough so she could look into his eyes.

"We'll be fine, dear brother. Please don't be afraid. I won't let them harm you" she rested her forehead against his, keeping her sight looked on his. They both knew it was not very likely that they would see each other again, but they couldn't help but hope.

"If God wills it, sweet sister" Athelstan muttered back.

"He does, he has to" Tegan whispered back, closing her eyes tight as she prayed for any god to keep them together.

"I will take the priest, and with my Lord's blessing, his sister, as my slaves" Ragnar's voice broke Tegan out of her prayer. Her eyes snapped towards the two men, and her gaze met with the Earl's.

"I did wonder who she was" he said. He rose from his seat again and walked over to her. Athelstan's grip on her hand tightened, and he closed his eyes as he buried his face in her hair. Tegan didn't look away to soothe him, but kept her eyes locked at Haraldson as he walked over to her.

"How come you were the only woman they brought back?" he asked, Tegan noticed that he kept talking in the northerners language, and she took her time understanding the sentence before she answered.

"I was seeking help from my brother at the monastery" she answered simply, knowing that the Earl really didn't care, but she was unwilling to let him see her fears.

"Ah. And are you still pure? Or have my men already had their way with you?" when the next question was asked, he had reach were the siblings were standing. Everyone's eyes were on them, and Ragnar was watching in silence.

"Only one" again her answer was kept simple. The Earl just smirked, touching her shoulder as he scanned the curves of her body.

"Husband!" came a sharp voice from the podium. The Earl turned towards his wife, who were looking at him with a scolding look. "Let Lothbrok have them"

The Earl looked at his wife for a moment, before he went back to sit next to her. 

"The priest and the girl" it seemed like the crowd found Ragnar's demand ridiculous, as they laughed, as if mocking him. "Granted" 

"Oh, thank God" Tegan muttered, closing her eyes and sinking into her brother's embrace, and in return, he clung to her even more than before. He was shaking, but whether it was from fear or relief, Tegan could not say.

* * *

After the laughter had stopped, they were all dismissed. Ragnar held a tight grip on their leashes as he lead them through the town, Rollo following close behind them.

"Why did you do that? Why did you give everything away so easily? We wasted our time! I never should have believed in you" they all stopped walking as Rollo started to complain about his brother's way of handling the situation. The tension grew, and Tegan was again afraid that the two brothers in front of her would start fighting. Athelstan sent her a vary look, carefully placing himself between Tegan and the two heathens.

"He was looking for an excuse to kill us" Ragnar snapped, "Why would we go to Valhalla after such a miserable and pointless death? Brother, believe me, this is not the end, it's just the beginning" Ragnar's smile was full of mischief as he patted his brothers shoulder, slowly stepping away from the bigger man. Rollo stepped around Ragnar, sending a devilish smile at Tegan over Athelstan's back. 

"Well, at least we didn't give everything away so easily" he grinned, opening his bag for Ragnar to see. Tegan could not see what was in the bag, as Athelstan was standing between her and the two men. She glanced up at him, silently asking him if he was alright. Athelstan nodded his head, closed his eyes, and took her bound hands in his.

The two siblings had taken to ignore the arguing brothers, focusing mainly on each other. "We'll be fine, brother. Ragnar has been decent, considering the circumstances, and this could have gone worse. We're still together in this, Athelstan" Tegan whispered, in their own language.

"I know, but I cannot help but worry" Athelstan sighed, squeezing her hand. Their conversation was interrupted by Ragnar pulling Tegan's leash to tight, making her stumble into her brother with a choked sound of shock escaping her throat. Athelstan caught her, making sure she was steady before throwing a glance over his shoulder to look at the arguing brothers, where Ragnar was pressing Rollo against a wall, a tight hold on his throat while they sneered at each other. 

"Are you okay, sister?" he asked when he turned back around, assured the Ragnar would not pull the leash again. Tegan nodded carefully massaging her throat from the upcoming bruise and rope burn. 

The conversation between the two brothers ended, and Ragnar pulled the leashes yet again, this time causing both siblings to stumble after him. Tegan had been expecting it this time, and she caught herself quickly, her brother struggled more, but he was soon walking beside her through the village. 

The walk through the unknown scenery was silently, the only sound was Tegan's uncomfortable whimpers every time she stepped on or kicked something with her still bare feet.

"Tell me, priest, what is wrong with your sister?" Ragnar asked after Tegan let out a particular loud yelp. The trio stopped as the man turned towards the siblings, scanning the two of them carefully.

"His sister, can speak for herself, thank you very much!" Tegan snapped, bending down to rub her still pounding left foot. Ragnar rose an eyebrow at her, amusement showing clearly in his eyes.

"Where are your shoes?" he asked, and Tegan huffed. She knew exactly where her shoes were. They were sitting safely on the beach back in England, just where she left them the day Ragnar and his crew attacked Lindisfarne.

"In England" Tegan huffed, standing back up. She looked over her fingers and let our another annoyed sigh when she saw the blood on them. "I left them in England."

Ragnar let out a huff of laughter as Tegan wiped the blood away on her skirts, and rolled her eyes. 

"We'll find you some other shoes when we get back to the farm. I am sure my wife has something old you can have" Ragnar said, clearly finishing the conversation. He picked up their leashes and pulled the two of the along the path, not letting the two siblings talk before they were hauled along the short way that was left to the farm.

The small farm was placed by the water, and it was nearly hidden by bushes and trees growing outside and around the fences and walls. Tegan looked around, taking in the foreign yet familiar scene around her. It reminded her of the farm she had lived on back in England, and she did a double take when she saw a little girl kneeling in the small courtyard in front of the small house. That could have been Nia.

The young girl was wringing the water out of a cloth and into a bucket when the trio walked through the gates. Ragnar tied the siblings leashes to a post in the fence and snuck up on the girl. Tegan looked away, keeping her eyes fastened at her brother's shoulder, tears pooling in her eyes as she heard the little girl, who Tegan assumed was Ragnar's daughter, giggled as her father tickled her sides. 

Tegan had promised herself not to let her thoughts wander to the life she had once had, the life that had included little Nia, but when another child, a boy slightly younger than the girl, ran out shouting for his father, she could not help but think of the little child knew back in England.

"Are you okay?" Athelstan asked, grabbing her attention. Tegan just nodded, drying away the unshed tears and finally turning towards the now reunited family in front of her.

Ragnar's wife was beautiful. Her blonde hair ran down to her shoulders, tied into intricate braids unlike anything Tegan had ever seen back in England. She wore a plain dress, but somehow it made her even more graceful. There was also something about her that Tegan couldn't quite place, something powerful and independent.

"So, where is all the treasure you promised?" the woman asked, after she had sheared a heated kiss with Ragnar. Tegan looked away, feeling like she was somehow intruding on a very private moment, like the family should be left along for their reunion, there was nothing she could do to give them more peace however, as she was tied to the fence.

"The Earl took it all for himself" Ragnar sighed with a heavy smile, a small hint of frustration blooming in his entire body. Tegan looked away from the couple and their children, focusing on her own brother. Athelstan was keeping his eyes firmly at the ground, his hands still clutching onto the Bible he had saved from the monastery. Tegan sighed silently, stepping closer to her brother so she could rest a careful hand on his arm. Athelstan gave her a brief look, but his eyes wandered quickly back to the ground, and Tegan kept hers on the side of her brother's head.

Ragnar bragged to his wife about the treasures they had found in England, but she was only half way paying attention as her mind wandered to what her future might bring. Her attention was brought back to the present, however, when Ragnar spoke directly to her and Athelstan.

"This is a priest from the temple to prove it, and his sister. Priest, woman, this is my family!" Ragnar had backed away from his family to stand by Tegan and Athelstan, gesturing to his small family. He lent against pole he had tied the siblings to, looking like there was nothing different about the leashes around the siblings throats. 

"Their names are Athelstan and Tegan, and even though they are foreigners, they speak our language. Don't you?" Ragnar grinned, gripping the back of Athelstan's neck. Tegan could feel her brother stiffening at the sudden contact. Tegan had encountered her own sort of shock, how had Ragnar learned her name? Neither she nor Athelstan had told him, and the only time he could have heard it was during their conversation back at the monastery, meaning he did in fact pay attention to their conversation. 

"A little, yes" Athelstan stammered out, and Tegan nodded wordlessly, caught in a stare-off with the young girl. Neither Tegan nor Athelstan made a move to great the children, so Ragnar took a steadier grip on the back of Athelstan's head, bending him forward so his son could see her brother's bald-spot. The younger boy stepped forward with an amazed and shocked look on his face. His hand shot up to touch Athelstan's head, rubbing the skin showing through the hair he had left.

"What happened to your head?" he asked, looking from Tegan to Athelstan in the search of an answer. Ragnar let go of Athelstan, allowing him to stand up straight again. Tegan grabbed his hand again, squeezing it as a question whether he was okay or not, but he ignored her, keeping his focus on the children in front of him. 

"When we become monks, they cut our hair. It marks us out" Athelstan answered, but none of the children seemed particularly satisfied with his answer. 

"Why aren't your hair like that?" the little girl asked Tegan, looking up at her hair with a million questions glistening in her eyes. 

"Because I am not a monk, or a nun. I'm just a farmer" Tegan answered, finally finding her voice again. She was surprised by the tone she had spoken in. Ever since Ragnar and his crew had taken them from England, every word spoke to one of the northerners had been cold and emotionless, but when she spoke to this young and seemingly shy girl, her voice became warm and caring. It seemed like her sudden change of voice surprised more than herself, as both Athelstan and Ragnar sent her surprised looks, though she payed them no mind.

"If you're a priest, and you a priest's sister, which God do you like best?" the girl asked, moving her eyes from Tegan to Athelstan, and back. Tegan felt her back straighten, not certain what to answer. She knew only of one God, as did her brother. She had learned that these northerners worshipped other gods, multiple of them, from what Tegan understood, but she had not any knowledge about any of them, and she had no clue on how to come up with an answer that would satisfy the small child.

"There is only one God" Athelstan said, childlike confusion filling his face. Tegan took a unnoticeable step forward, taking in the look of everyone's faces, hoping that she would not see any anger at her brother's nearly careless remark. She knew that he would stand up for God, no matter what, as was his job, she would to work hard to defend her beliefs, though not as fiercely as her brother, and it seemed like Tegan knew better when she should hold her tongue. 

Tegan was relieved to find only shock and confusion on the faces around them. Ragnar did not seem surprised, but she had expected that, his wife's eyebrows furrowed, but she looked thoughtful, not angry. There was no answer to Athelstan's remark, only a shy smile from Ragnar that chased away the budding awkward tension. 

"Here, you can touch them" Ragnar said to his children. He loosened Tegan and Athelstan's leashes from the pole, and gave them to his children, Tegan's was given to the girl, and Athelstan's was given to the boy.

"Are we keeping them?" the little girl asked as she walked over to touch Tegan's dress, but she received no answer from her parents, who were already making their way into the house, and Tegan had no doubt about what they were about to do.

"Look at his feet" the boy snickered, pointing at Athelstan's sandals. The little girl looked down, and her eyes widened when she saw Tegan's bare feet. Handing Tegan's leash to her brother she ran off, hesitating by the door, but quickly entering, no doubt disturbing her parents.  

 "Why do you wear this?" the boy in front of the siblings asked, and Tegan's attention were brought back to him. He was touching Athelstan's robes, lifting and fiddling with the rough fabric.

"All monks do" was Athelstan's answer. Any more conversation was interrupted by the little girl slamming the door shut behind her as she came back out of the house, red in the face and a pair of boots clutched in her hands. Her brother started snickering as she came over, silently handing the boots to Tegan.

"They were mothers, but she doesn't use them anymore. She said you could have them" was the only thing the little girl said.

"Thank you" Tegan smiled carefully, bending down to put the boots on her still throbbing feet.

When Tegan had finally managed to lase her new boots correctly the girl was handed both of the leashes. She sent her older brother a questioning look, but he just shook his head. 

"I don't need to talk to them, they are slaves" Tegan wanted to huff and chastise him for his stupid remark, but she knew he was right. She and Athelstan had been reduced to items, barely worth more than an animal.

"Well, I want to talk to them" the younger girl said, walking firmly over to a bench closer to the water. She sat down on the middle of the bench, and gestured for Athelstan and Tegan to settle down on either side of her. The rest of the day flew past, mostly by Tegan and the little girl, whose name was Gyda, talking. Athelstan kept quiet, and Tegan did not say much, but Gyda was a curious little girl, and Tegan answered what she could. It was when Gyda started asking about Tegan's earlier life that the older girl withdrew from the conversation.

"Are you married, Tegan?" Gyda had asked.

"I was once, to a man named Ianto" Tegan asked, drawing in a deep breath as she felt her wrist ache with the memory of her late husbands harsh grip.

"What happened to him?" the little girl continued. Athelstan looked up with a curious look on his face, he wondered to. Tegan had not told anyone what actually happened, all that was said was that the man she had married died of an unknown sickness, out of nowhere. 

"He got sick" Tegan answered, looking away from the two others and over to the forest.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Gyda mumbled, finally noticing Tegan's sudden tension.

"I'm not" was the short reply she got. Athelstan looked surprised, like he had not expected Tegan to feel something so cold for the death of her husband. He had not been there, so there was no way he could have known, but Tegan still felt sad and almost angry that he had not noticed something wrong with her late husband. 

A tense silence laid a damper on the conversation, and Athelstan could see that Gyda was trying to think of something new to talk about, something that would bring Tegan's thoughts over to something else.

"What about children?" she finally asked, and Athelstan's eyes widened. That was one topic he knew that his sister did not enjoy. To his big surprise however, Tegan smiled sadly and returned her gaze to Gyda.

"I had two children. Or, I guess you could say I had one. My first child was a little girl, her name was Nia, and I loved her more than anything in this world. When she turned six, I gave birth to my second child, a small boy. I never got to know him. He was dead even before he was born, but I still loved him" Tegan said, tears filling her eyes. Athelstan was glad he finally got to hear what had happened to his sister's children. He had gotten letters from her both the times she had discovered the pregnancies, but after a couple of months after she had announced her second pregnancy, she stopped writing to him, and a  few weeks later, she showed up at the monastery.

"What happened to Nia?" Gyda asked, and Athelstan perked up, looking at Tegan with a questioning expression.

"She died" was the short reply they got, and both Gyda and Athelstan knew that none of them would get any more replies out of her, especially not on that specific topic.

"You remind me of her, Gyda. I think she would have liked you" and with that, Tegan finished the conversation. She did not leave, like Athelstan had thought she would, she just simply stopped answering, only giving Gyda gentle smiles as the little girl rambled on about her family and the life on the farm. 

The three of them dearly failed to notice that the sky had darkened, and first when Ragnar's wife, Lagertha, said that she had made dinner. Tegan and Athelstan had eaten in silence, listening to the family talking happily among each other. The siblings were sitting on the end of the table, having what seemed like a silent conversation, but none of the others asked them what they were thinking, and the siblings were not about to draw more attention to themselves than necessary.

* * *

 

That night, none of the siblings were able to find sleep. Lagertha and Ragnar was having intercourse, and their loud groans and moans were keeping Tegan and Athelstan awake. Athelstan was pointedly ignoring the two people in the bed, sitting in the corner of their shared cot reading out loud from the Bible. Tegan's problem sleeping came from an entirely different reason. 

She would never have told her brother, but she was captivated by the scene she was witnessing from across the room. Lagertha's hair had been let out of their braids and fell freely over her shoulders. She was riding her husband, her groans and moans doing things to Tegan that she would deny if asked about. The older woman threw her head backwards, and Tegan got a glimpse of her face,  glistening in sweat, her eyes nearly white from pleasure. She looked out of this world. And the way she moved, so raw and driven by natural instincts. Her entire being seemed like it was filled with a pleasure that Tegan had never felt, not even when she was with her own husband. 

Suddenly the leash around Tegan's throat felt uncomfortably tight, and she felt a pool of heath gather in her stomach. Out of no where, Lagertha stopped moving, and Tegan quickly moved her gaze from the pair and over to her brother, pretending like she had never been looking at them in the first place. The sound of the couple moving across the room thundered through Tegan's mind, and she did everything in her power not to look at them. 

"Athelstan. Athelstan, we want to ask you something" her brother's attention snapped towards the couple who were now standing in front of them. Lagertha had pulled the covers around her body, but Tegan could still see the valley of her breasts, and her leg was visible to the siblings. Athelstan closed his Bible, and Tegan could nearly hear him swallowing. Ragnar's chest was bare, but Tegan could not bring herself to take in his chiselled chest, to distracted by the skin Lagertha was showing to move her gaze.

"Come and join us, priest" Lagertha's voice was low and husky, and Tegan could feel her heart leap. She was not certain what was happening, she had never felt like this, and she was not sure if she liked it or not yet. 

"Come on" Ragnar whispered to her brother, nodding towards the couple's bed. Tegan looked over at her brother, who looked more uncomfortable and hesitant than ever. She knew that the couple in front of them could do whatever they wanted with her and her brother, as they were technically they're owners, but she somehow got the feeling that Ragnar and Lagertha was actually asking. Of course, it could be a way to trick Athelstan into thinking he had a choice, but Tegan felt like the couple in front of her really would give him the choice. "Don't you want to? You'll enjoy it"

Ragnar and Lagertha was both smiling, taking in Athelstan's form. Tegan could feel a knew feeling bloom in her chest, like she was intruding or being left out of something, and she looked away from all of them. 

"I'm a monk. I have taken vows of celibacy. I cannot touch a woman, I never have" Athelstan kept his gaze away from Lagertha, whether it was because it was making him uncomfortable or so he could give her privacy, Tegan could not tell, but she suspected a little bit of both. Ragnar sent his wife a wondering look and came to sit by their mattress.

"But wouldn't you like to?" he asked, grinning as he looked up at his wife. Lagertha pulled the covers away from her leg, letting even more skin show in the dark light that was let in through the windows. 

"It would be a sin" was Athelstan's curt answer. He looked away from Ragnar, and glanced over at Tegan, who was struggling in not watching Lagertha's exposed leg.

"And if you and I had some fun? I am no woman, so that would not be a sin, no?" Ragnar grinned, leaning in towards Athelstan. The young monk retreated even further into the corner, seeming like he was trying to push himself through the wall.

"It would still be a sin, and God would know" Athelstan's voice was final, and it seemed like the couple gave up on trying to convince him. Lagertha looked down at her husband, who nodded with a mischievous smile on his lips.

 "What about you Tegan, would you like to join?" Lagertha asked Tegan, who jumped at the sound of her name. She looked up at the older woman with wide eyes. She had not expected to be asked the same question, and certainly not by the wife. If Ragnar had asked, she would have understood, but it seemed like it all was Lagertha's idea. "We could make you feel real good." 

Tegan looked from Lagertha to her brother, who was looking at her with a shocked expression as he noticed her hesitation. He lightly shook his head, muttering words from the Bible under his breath. Tegan knew she wanted to join, but she knew that her brother needed her more right now, he seemed on the brink of crying. She let out a sight and looked back at Lagertha, really taking in her form and hoping that the older woman understood that, yes, she wanted to join, but not right now.

"Thank you, for the offer, but my brother needs me" the _maybe next time_ went unsaid, but Tegan could tell by Lagertha's knowing smirk and twinkling eyes as she was pulled back to bed that she got the message, Tegan would be asked again.  

* * *

 

Athelstan was up before Tegan the next morning, and knowing her brother would not have gone far without her, she decided not to look for him. The sun was still rising as Tegan came out of the house. The courtyard was full of life, Lagertha and Gyda was standing by some other women, talking about something Tegan could not hear, while Ragnar was by the fence, cleaning fish, his son tampering with what seemed to be a fishing net beside him.

"Father, the girl is up" was the first thing she heard as she walked towards them.

"Tegan, I expected you to sleep longer" Ragnar grinned as she joined them.

"I am usually up before the sun has even started to rise, so I am actually up late" Tegan smiled carefully, scratching her arm mindlessly.

"Why don't you help Bjorn untangle the fishing net? It is quite a large job this time" Ragnar said, pointing to where his son was sitting. Tegan nodded wordlessly, sitting down next to Bjorn and started working on the other end.

They worked in silence to begin with, but after a few tense questions from Ragnar, Bjorn seemed to open up. Tegan managed to hold a decent conversation with him, without having to reveal any of her past. At one point, she could see her brother entering the house, but he seemed hunched over, like he did  not want to draw attention to himself. 

"So, Tegan, do you know how to fight?" Bjorn asked, looking up from where his hands were working out the last knot in the fishing net. 

"No, I do not. Back in England, women are supposed to be quiet, seen not heard. And of course, to bear children" Tegan explained with a sad smile. Bjorn had asked her about how life in England was all morning, and he seemed nearly upset by the things Tegan had told him. Especially the part about men being more important than women had gotten to him. 

"You don't know how to fight?! Father, you must teach her!" Bjorn protested, looking up at his father with wide eyes. Tegan giggled quietly, amazed on how quickly Bjorn had taken to her, as he had seemed reluctant to do so the day before.

"You will have to talk to your mother about that, Bjorn. She would be a better teacher than me" Ragnar smiled, but Tegan got a feeling that even if Lagertha refused to teach her, she would still learn how to fight.

"It's true, mother is a shield maiden! She is a great fighter" Bjorn smiled widely, turning back to Tegan.

"I believe you. She seems like a strong woman" Tegan replied, looking up as she heard two pairs of footsteps approaching. Lagertha and Gyda walked through the gates in the fence, a basket of what seemed like whole fish between them.

"That is right, and you all do well in remembering it" Lagertha smiled as she sat the basket down next to Ragnar. Gyda smiled at Tegan, who stood up a stretched, smiling back at the young girl. 

"How are you this morning, Tegan?" Lagertha asked, looking over the younger woman. 

"I am well. And you?" Tegan answered politely, trying desperately to keep her eyes from wandering over Lagertha's form, and failing miserably.

"I am fine" the older woman chuckled, and Tegan could feel her cheeks redden. "Will you help me inside, Tegan?" 

"Of course..." Tegan let the sentence die unfinished, uncertain about what she should call the woman in front of her. The woman in front of her was her owner, and Tegan did not know is they wanted her to refer to them as Master and Mistress, or Sir and My Lady. Personally, Tegan hoped not, the titles making her feel uncomfortable.

"Just Lagertha will do" Tegan was relieved with the answer, and by the smile Lagertha sent her, the relief showed on her face. "Gyda, Bjorn, you too" 

 The two children followed just behind Tegan into the house, who instinctively looked around the open space to find her brother. She could see him, but there was a small whimpering coming from somewhere close to her, so she knew he was there. Tegan was startled by Bjorn's sudden chuckle, and she looked towards him, but her eyes caught sight of her brother. 

Athelstan was sitting bent over a bowl of water, knife in hand, trying to shave away the stubble that had grown out on his head. He looked up sheepishly at the sound of Bjorn's laugh, and Tegan could feel his anxiousness form where she stood by the door. 

"Time for breakfast" Lagertha pushed her children further into the house, leaving Tegan and Athelstan behind.

"Oh Athelstan, you've cut yourself. Let me see" Tegan spoke to him in the Saxon language as she sat down beside him and took his head in her hands, pulling him down so she could inspect the top of his head. The cut wasn't big, and she rinsed it quickly with the water from the bowl and a piece of cloth that was lying next to it.

"They must think I'm stupid" Athelstan muttered when Tegan finished. He kept his eyes locked on his hands, his breathing coming out slowly.

"No, sweetheart, they think you're a little different, but they were expecting that. We are foreigners after all" Tegan smiled, taking his hand in hers.

"But they take so well to you, you fit in here, like you've lived her all your life" Athelstan sighed. He pulled his hands away and felt the top of his head, frowning as he felt the failure of his attempt at shaving.

"That is only because we grew up differently, brother. I lived at a farm my entire life, I even raised a child, so I am used to this life. You grew up in a monastery with only older men. I do not expect you to know how to live like this, at least not yet" Tegan said, taking his hands again to make sure that he would stop touching the still sore wound on his head. Athelstan nodded back, seemingly accepting her explanation.

"Now, do you want me to shave your head for you, so we can avoid more injuries, or do you want to wait?" she asked, looking him in the eyes. Her brother did not answer, but the tears filling his eyes and the small nod of his head was enough.

Tegan took the knife from his hands and made him bend over the bowl again. They were both silent as Tegan worked, carefully removing the stubble on Athelstan's head and cheeks, making sure to avoid the small wound on his head. The siblings were silent as Tegan worked, and they pointedly ignored the chuckles that could be heard from Bjorn.

* * *

 

The rest of the day went by in a blur, and Tegan spent most of it with her brother, helping him with the tasks Ragnar gave him. She expected to get her own tasks, but no one said anything, and she did not know what else she could do than stick with her brother. The first order that separated them that day came later, after the sun had gone down. Lagertha had asked her to help her and Gyda with weaving a blanket, and Tegan was for the first time pulled away from her brother.

"So Tegan, how old are you?" Lagertha asked, properly looking at her for the first time since that morning. Tegan furrowed her eyebrows, the question seemed nearly casual, so out of place, like it didn't fit with her situation.

"I am 24" Tegan's answer sounded more like a question, like she wasn't sure if that was the answer Lagertha was looking for or not.

"And your brother, Athelstan, how old is he?" came the next question.

"He is 22, two years younger" 

"Ragnar told me you were married?"

"Yes, I was" Tegan was not certain whether she wanted to answer or not, but she felt like Lagertha would get an answer even if she refused to answer at first. Though she also had the feeling that she would not have anything against whatever Lagertha had planned. 

These feelings were starting to scare Tegan. She knew what it was, even though she had never felt it before. All she knew about it was that the Bible spoke about it as a sin, and that her having the feelings for another woman, who was also married, made everything much more difficult. 

"Who was he?" Lagertha paused her movements, and put down the cloth she was working on.

"His name was Ianto. My parents found him for me before they died. It was a good match, he was a very proud man. He had a lot of land, and was able to provide for me and my future children" Tegan answered, keeping her answer neutral. She did not know what Lagertha wanted with her story.

"Was he a nice man?"

"I do not think I understand what you mean?" Tegan whispered, keeping her eyes on her hands as she waited for Lagertha to confirm the question.

"Did you love him?" Tegan took her time answering. The proper answer would be no, she did not love her late husband, but she did like the security he gave her future.

"I like what he could give me, but that was all" came her final answer after a brief pause.

"So you do not miss him?" this time Tegan only shook her head, not even having to think about it.

"How did he die?" this time Tegan ducked her head down towards her hands, and even Gyda looked up at her reaction. Tegan was reluctant to answer, as she knew exactly what had happened to Ianto. The people in their village would tell everyone that he had fallen ill with a rare case of the flu, and that his poor wife did everything possible to heal him. They would tell people that Tegan had even spent days wandering the woods looking for a special herb that she could mix into his soup, so he would be better. What they did not know, was that the special herb was not for making him better, it was for making him worse. Tegan knew exactly what she was doing, and the herbs she used in Ianto's soup was the reason he died.

"I poisoned him"


	3. Life at the farm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recap: "I poisoned him"

Both Lagertha and Gyda dropped what they were doing, their shocked eyes snapping to Tegan's bowed head. The young woman kept her gaze fastened to her hands, refusing to look up.

"Was he cruel?" the next question was soft, and it did not come from Lagertha. Tegan moved her gaze to Gyda, whose eyes were wide in shock. Tegan did not answer, settling for just nodding. Ianto had not been a nice man, he was, in fact, absolutely horrible. But she did not want to tell what had happened to her while she lived with her husband to these people. At least not yet.

"So you did not agree to the marriage then?" this time Lagertha was the one who spoke, and again Tegan just nodded her head.

"Gyda told me you had children, who were they?" was the next question.

"My daughter, Nia, and my son, whom I named Sion"

"How old?" Gyda's questioning look almost made Tegan smile, but she looked back at her work and kept it in.

"Sion was never alive, he died before I could give birth, and Nia turned five before she died" tears were gathering in Tegan's eyes as she thought of the two children she had to bury. They both had had the same hair and eye colour as she had, even Sion who had barely any hair at all. Tegan had been overjoyed that they looked nothing like her husband, but Ianto had been less than pleased by it.

"What happened to Nia?" Gyda's next question had both of the women stop. Tegan squeezed her eyes shut for just a minute, drawing in a deep breath while trying not to cry. Lagertha was quiet for a second, then she reacted.

Tegan was startled by the arm around her shoulder, but she did not move away. It had only been a few months since her family had died, and while Tegan was assuring her brother that she was fine, there was times where the memories caught up with her.

"Gyda, it's late, why don't you go to bed" Lagertha was not asking, and her daughter nodded, taking of towards her bed quietly. "It's okay Tegan, let it out"

Tegan let one small sob escape her lips, then she lifted her hands to her face to dry away the single tear that had rolled down her cheek.

"I am fine, I'm sorry" she whispered, straightening her back and forcing forward a fake smile, that Lagertha saw right through.

"Okay, I do not need your help with anything else tonight. You can go to bed and try to get some sleep. Your brother will join you as soon as Ragnar is done speaking to him" the decision was finale, and Tegan nodded.

The cot she shared with her brother seemed almost welcoming as she laid back carefully, making sure to give space to Athelstan when he would join her. Tegan fiddled with the rope around her neck for a moment, her thoughts wandering from the family she had once had back in England, to the family she was living with now. What Lagertha had was what she had wanted from the beginning, but it seemed like this was the closest she would ever come to it.

Tegan ended up taking the loop of rope of and laying it beside her on the cot, deciding that as long as the leash stayed off, then this would not be as bad. 

* * *

 

Tegan woke up first the next day, she was up even before the sun could be seen over the mountains that were surrounding them. Athelstan was lying beside her, curled up underneath the blanket they shared. He had come to bed late, waking Tegan as he stumbled into the cot and fell on top of her. He had muttered out an apology before he promptly fell asleep.

The action was weird, Tegan had never seen her brother act like that before, not even after staying up an entire night working in the monastery. Her questioning glance was answered however, when she smelled a whiff of ale on him. Tegan's eyes widened and she pulled away from him. She knew the scent of ale, and it was something she loathed more than anything in the entire world.

She had struggled to fall asleep, and when she finally did, she woke soon after. Athelstan still smelled of ale when she woke, and she knew that if she stayed, she would end up sick. Tegan carefully climbed over her brother, deciding to leave the leash she had taken of the night before knowing that she would not want to go far enough to need it.

Tegan looked around her in the dark and silent house. Ragnar's snoring and Lagertha's soft mumbling was heard from their bed, and she could hear Gyda and Bjorn breathing heavily from their shared bed. Tegan tip toed over to the door, and she silently slipped through the door.

It was still dark outside. There was lighter than it had been when her brother went to bed, letting her know that the sun was not far away, but it still hadn't peaked over the hillside.

Tegan walked around the farm, taking in the tiny details in her now new home. Her gaze was drawn to the water, and she silently made her way over to the docks. It was quiet, and Tegan had no idea how long time had passed while she peacefully watched the sunrise. Her peace was interrupted however, when she heard a loud yell from the house.  

* * *

 

Athelstan had never felt so nauseous in his entire life, not even during the trip over the sea from England had he felt as sick as he did now. At first, he could not bring himself to remember what could have caused something like this, but as his memories started to trickle in as he woke up, he let our a low groan. 

Ragnar had given him ale, and gotten him drunk. They had spoken about England, and every time he had hesitated in mentioning something, Ragnar had forced him to drink more. Athelstan sat up, prepared to tell Tegan that he was sorry about disturbing her the night before. He knew she did not like to be woken up in the middle of the night, as she usually woke up early anyway, but when he opened his eyes, she was already gone, the only thing that let him known that she had even been there was the rope she had had around her neck the night before.

"Tegan?" he mumbled silently, sitting up straighter in bed. He whispered her name again, louder this time, as he struggled to get out of bed. The rational part of him told him that she was probably just outside, watching the sunrise like she usually did, but he was still confused by the new land and the amount of ale he had been drinking the night before. On his was over to the door, he stumbled over a pot, stubbing his toe and tipping the pot over. He hissed under his breath, but the commotion had woken Ragnar and Lagertha, who both sat up in their bed.

"What is wrong Athelstan? Why are you out of bed?" Ragnar asked, rubbing the back of his neck as he blinked his eyes. Athelstan froze in the middle of the room, not wanting to give his sister away, but he could not help his eyes from wandering over to their empty cot and the limp rope left behind. Lagertha and Ragnar followed his gaze, and their own eyes wide in shock.

Before Athelstan could say a word, the two of them were out of bed, getting dressed inhumanly fast. They were yelling at each other, and Athelstan was struggling to understand what they were saying.

"Where is she Athelstan?" Lagertha suddenly turned to him, a look in her eyes that would scare the bravest of men.

"I do not know" Athelstan whispered, looking down at the ground while his breathing quickened. Lagertha let out a rage filled shriek, but there was something else behind the loud noise, though Athelstan could not place it.

"She might just be outside" Athelstan whispered. How Lagertha managed to hear him was a miracle, but before he had even finished the sentence, the older woman was out the door. Athelstan could feel his breath quickened, afraid of what damage he might have brought upon his sister, who had already gone trough so much. His breath had become frantic, and he could feel the panic rise in his chest. His eyes watered and Athelstan's mind raced faster than he was able to keep up with. 

"Athelstan, I need you to calm down" he could faintly hear a voice say, but it was low and distant, like someone was speaking through a wall, and he was unable to recognize the voice. He was shaken out of his panicked state when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. Athelstan's head snapped to the side and his forehead nearly crashed with Ragnar's.

"Breath, Athelstan. Inn and out" Ragnar demonstrated as he talked, carefully breathing inn and out, gesturing for Athelstan to do as he did. The younger man focused on Ragnar's breath, and not long after, he was able to breath properly. He was shaking all over and he felt the sweat run down his now clammy back.

"You're all right, Athelstan. No one is going to harm you" Ragnar smiled gently, still not having moved his hand from Athelstan's shoulder.

"Tegan?" was all Athelstan could get out. The thought of him saying something that could have gotten his sister hurt nearly sent him into another panic attack, but Ragnar quickly shushed him.

"No one is harming Tegan either, Lagertha is out looking for her now, and she'll be safe" Athelstan nodded, not completely assured, but feeling better knowing that neither Ragnar nor Lagertha was likely to harm his sister.

"Come here, let's get some breakfast, then we'll go into town" Ragnar grinned, and led the younger man over to the table.

* * *

The loud shout from inside the house startled Tegan, and she was on her feet in seconds. She was reminded of when all the shouts came from a farm she had once lived on, and before she had even thought it through, she was making her way towards the house. Before she reached it however, Lagertha was storming out through the doors.

The older woman stopped outside and looked around, a nearly panicked look on her face. Her stance relaxed however when her gaze fell on Tegan, the relief showed on her face for a second before the anger overtook her entire being. Lagertha stormed over to Tegan with a looked that Tegan knew all to well. It reminded her much of Ianto.

Tegan did not move, knowing from previous encounters that it would most likely make the other woman mad, but she also refused to look at her, keeping her eyes fastened to the ground in front of her.

None of them said anything while Lagertha stormed over, but Tegan could feel herself pulling inward as the older woman reached her. None of the two women were entire sure what happened next, Lagertha had reached out to stroke a lock of Tegan's hair out of her face, but Tegan flinched away from her.

She had seen Lagertha's hand move, and reacted on instinct. Her arms wrapped around her body, her face turned to the side and her entire being tensed up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything wrong" Tegan muttered, clenching her eyes shut as she waited for the blow. The blow that never came. The two of them stood in a tense silence for several minutes, thoughts racing through both's minds.

Tegan started trembling, the shaking started out in her hands and soon her entire body was shaking, silent tears running down her cheeks. Everything finally caught up to her, the loss of her children, the fact that she was taken away from home and the memories brought back by the ale her brother had been drinking. Tegan kept muttering unintelligible apologizes to the woman in front of her, who just kept staring at her with a saddened expression.

"Oh Tegan" Lagertha sighed silently and pulled the younger girl into her. Tegan froze up, and for a second it seemed like she was about to pull away. She didn't, instead, she buried her face in Lagertha's shoulder and attempted to calm her breath. The two women stood silently for a moment, Lagertha carefully stroking Tegan's back as the younger woman stopped crying. 

"You feeling better now?" Lagertha asked, placing her hands on Tegan's shoulders and pulling out of the hug. Tegan nodded, but kept her gaze locked on the ground.

"I am sorry if I did anything wrong" she muttered, swallowing heavily. Lagertha's face fell as she took in the resigned look on Tegan's face.

"You did nothing wrong, Tegan. We were only worried about where you were" Lagertha explained calmly, tilting the younger woman's chin up so her eyes could level with her own. "Do you mind telling me why you were out here by yourself?" 

"I didn't want to wake anyone, and I'm usually up in time to watch the sunrise" was the timid answer she got. Tegan received a calming smile from the older woman, and it coaxed her to continue speaking. "I would usually take Nia out in the morning, and we'd sit and watch the sun while we waited to make breakfast for Ianto"

"How was it? Living in England?" Lagertha asked. The two women slowly sat down on the pier, facing each other with their knees nearly touching. 

"Not much different than living here, actually. There wasn't that much mountains, and we lived further away from everyone. I think we might also have a few plants that are different to yours, but other than that, it's very much the same" Tegan started, but Lagertha looked dubious.

"Somehow I struggle to believe that your customs are similar to ours" it came with a smile and a chuckled, and Tegan's eyes widened. That was true. From what Tegan had seen, the rules of the northmen were very different to those at home, and she suspected it had something to do with their gods.

"Well, it was very important to remember to go to church, to show our love for God, once every seventh day" she found it hard to explain these things, as she hadn't felt close to God in months, but she was willing to try if that was what Lagertha wanted.

"I do not want you to tell me about your god, I believe that your brother would do that much better. I wanted to know the daily rules, what was _your_ live like?" Tegan contemplated whether she should move or not, but Lagertha didn't seem angry or frustrated, so Tegan decided to keep her eyes on the older woman, and not move away from her.

"It was stricter. I could not sit down like we're doing now, and I was never left by myself where I lived. Ianto would always come over and demand things" Tegan's eyebrows furrowed at the thought. "And sometimes, his friends would join him."

Lagertha's eyes went wide. "You mean he let them use you?!" 

"The laws in England are very different from yours. Women are their father's daughters, their son's mothers, and their husband's wives. But other than that, we do not have any say in nearly anything" Lagertha seemed shocked by her words. "After a while, people came to us to make deals with Ianto. Cause as he wanted better deals for himself, he'd let them do whatever they wanted to me"

"He would let them have sex with you to get better deals for himself?! If a man were to do that to his wife here, she could have him killed!" Tegan flinched at Lagertha's sudden outburst, and her eyes widened by the vulgar term the older woman had used, but she knew she had to get used to that sort of language if she was to survive in this land. 

"I got used to it after a while, I learned to just go with it. Everything got worse if I didn't" Tegan whispered, moving her upper body towards the water. She let her eyes rest on the opening where the two mountains went into the water. Through that gap was her previous home, and while she would miss the land, Tegan could not help but feel safer on the pier with Lagertha than she had ever done at home with her late husband.

"You shouldn't have to be used to that!" Lagertha protested, and Tegan turned back to her. 

"It helped when your husband attacked the monastery my brother and I lived in" by the look in Lagertha's eyes, Tegan could tell that it was something Ragnar had forgotten to mention to his wife. Lagertha raised an eyebrow, and Tegan took it as a cue to continue. "Athelstan and I was hiding behind an altar in one of the buildings, Ragnar and three of his men found us, and Rollo entered the room soon after. Ragnar refused to let Rollo kill Athelstan, but he let his brother have his way with me, as long as I remained unharmed. Athelstan protested it at first, but it seemed like the easiest way to keep Rollo pleased at the moment. I offered to keep my brother safe, and I would have done it again" 

"I will have a word with the two of them, Ragnar and Rollo both, and I can assure you that no one will ever touch you without your consent ever again" Lagertha seemed furious, but Tegan knew that it was not a promise she could keep. First of, who would be there to defend her when Lagertha was away, and Tegan knew that if a situation similar to the one in the monastery turned up, and she had the same shot at saving someone she cared about, then she would take it. It seemed like Lagertha also understood this, by the saddened look that took over her face, but Tegan could also see a growing respect show in the older woman's eyes. 

Their conversation was interrupted by the door slamming open, and Ragnar stepping outside with Athelstan in tow. Tegan's brother still had the rope around his neck, and she sent him a concerned look. 

"Where are they going?" she asked Lagertha worriedly. The older woman gave her a calming smile.

"Ragnar is taking Athelstan into town, he is going to speak to the Earl, and he needs you brother's help. Athelstan will be safe, trust me. Ragnar likes him to much to let him come to harm" somehow, it didn't make Tegan feel any better.

"Where is the leash Ragnar put on you?" Lagertha asked, drawing Tegan's attention away from her brother's retreating form. The older woman was glancing down at her neck, where the rope was missing. The younger woman drew in a sharp breath and looked down at her hands. She had completely forgotten to put the leash back on again when she got out of bed, and she had not remembered until Lagertha mentioned it. 

"I took it off when before I fell asleep last night. I completely forgot to put it back on. I'm sorry" Tegan muttered, and she heard Lagertha sigh. The younger woman tried to hold back a flinch, but Lagertha noticed.

"I am not angry, I just wondered where it went. And you do not have to put it on again, if it is bothering you" Tegan sent her a grateful smile, happy to finally being let out of the itchy rope.

* * *

When Athelstan and Ragnar arrived back at the farm later that night, something seemed different. The first thing that caught Tegan's eyes, was that Athelstan didn't have the rope around his neck. She didn't either, but that was only because Lagertha had decided not to force it back on her. Tegan came to the conclusion that Ragnar must have taken it off of Athelstan, but her brother somehow seemed distressed anyway. 

It had gotten dark before the two men came back, and the entire family was now sitting inside the house. As soon as Athelstan had came through the doors, Tegan knew something was wrong. Sensing his tensed shoulders, she had taken his hand and led him to their cot, sitting him down to cuddle. 

"What is wrong brother?" she asked in Saxon, hoping to keep the conversation a little private. Athelstan didn't answer at fist, taking to bury his face in her chest and whimper. His shoulder's shook silently, and Tegan could tell that he was struggling not to cry. "Sweethart, tell me"

"They've killed Brother Bevin. They killed him and strung him up by his hands like an animal. He's dead, Tegan, he's dead!" Athelstan's voice came out as a whispered shout, and Tegan was quick to sush him, hoping to not draw any attention towards them. Her own breath hitched, and she could feel tears fill up in her eyes. She had liked Brother Bevin, she had seen him sort of like another brother, or maybe even as a son. Tegan could not help but blame herself for not protecting him better, but the rational part of her knew that not was not her fault.

"You need to calm down brother, Bevin is with God now, you know that. He is safe and happy now. And I'm sure that he has met with the other monks in Heaven" Tegan whispered to Athelstan, knowing that talk of God would calm him down, or at least hoping that it would.

"You really think so?" her brother mumbled, he sat up again and started playing with her fingers. Tegan was silent for a moment, just watching him trying to compose himself. She carefully removed her hand from his, and touched his cheek.

"I know so. Brother Bevin was a kind boy, and he is in Heaven. I do not believe that anyone would be more deserving" she smiled, forcing Athelstan to meet her eyes. Her brother didn't manage to smile back, but he did nod his head, acknowledging her words.

"I know you will miss him, and I will too. But he is safe now, and I am sure that he would want us to look out for ourselves, and each other" Tegan finished, stroking her thumb along his cheekbone. Athelstan closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath.

"He loved you, you know, like a man would love his sister or his mother. And he trusted you a lot" Athelstan said carefully. "All of the monks did. I heard them talking, at night. Father Cuthbert was afraid that you would tempt them into sin, but none of them looked at you as more than a sister, mother or daughter" 

"Well, I am glad to hear that I did not lead any of them to Hells gates then. And I will always see them as a part of our family, even though I only knew them for a few months" Tegan encouraging grin, hoping to raise his spirits. Athelstan did not seem much better, but he had stopped shaking, and Tegan counted that for something.

"What are you two talking about? I don't like it when you speak that language" Bjorn showed up by their cot, startling both the siblings. Athelstan froze, not making any movement to answer the young boy, so Tegan plastered a smile on her face, hoping that it was not as fake as it felt.

"You will have to forgive us, young master, it is very easy for us to slip back into our own language when talking to each other, as it is easier to hold a conversation in a language we are more used to. And we are only talking about one of our friends, a young monk whom my brother saw dead in the village" Tegan explained calmly, hoping that the way she addressed him would make him more forgiving. 

Bjorn however, did not seem pleased. He kept glaring at them, and Tegan could feel herself getting both nervous and irritated.

"Bjorn, let them be!" Ragnar's voice came from the other side of the house, and Tegan looked towards him, Athelstan still keeping his gaze away from everyone. Tegan met Ragnar's eyes, and nodded in thanks. Bjorn did not say anything, but he did leave them alone.

"Is there anything else? You've not told me everything, right?" Tegan slipped back into Saxon, and this time, no one said anything about it. Athelstan seemed reluctant to answer, and again he started shaking and muttering. Tegan could not understand what he was saying, but her guess was that he was praying again.

"Brother, I need you to tell me. It is clear that you will not feel better about this unless you speak up about it" Tegan assured him, hoping that whatever had happened to him while in the village was not to bad. Rollo's words from back in England came up in her head.

 _"Some of the men have taken to use the younger boys, and gods how they squeal"_ was what he had said, and Tegan could not help but worry that someone had taken advantage of Athelstan like Rollo had done with her.

"They did not touch you, did they?" Tegan ushered out, lightly shaking her brother's shoulders. He still did not answer, but he did shake his head, and Tegan breathed out a sigh of relief.

"They didn't... They didn't do anything. But I did! Oh Tegan, I am so so sorry!" Athelstan finally brust out, and hid his face in Tegan's skirt, half lying on the cot and half in her lap. Tegan had no clue what he was talking about, but his shoulders had started shaking again, so she calmly stroke his hear and muttered soothing words while she waited for him to calm down. 

None of the siblings bothered to look up when Lagertha called for dinner, none of them would be able to eat right now anyway. The two of them were simply to tired to bother with food at the moment.

"Come one, brother, tell me what happened. What did you do that bother you so much" Tegan muttered, finally using her hand to cup Athelstan's cheek, forcing him to look up.

"Last night, when I was talking and drinking with Ragnar, I told him things. I swear I had no clue what he would use with the knowledge, and he was asking, and I had had to much ale, and I told him everything. I told him so much about England, about the kingdoms, and the other monasteries and the treasures there" Athelstan avoided looking his sister in the eyes, and he was nearly talking to fast for Tegan to understand what he was saying.

"There is nothing wrong with telling Ragnar about our home, Athelstan. He is technically our master, and he asked you. I am sure it would have led to more harm for you if you had refused to say anything" Tegan smiled carefully, using her thumb to stroke away the tear tracks that had appeared on her brother's cheek.

"But it will bring harm Tegan! He took me to see the Earl today, and he told him about England! About all the riches that are there, and about how none of the monasteries are guarded. And now they're going back to attack again, and it's all my fault!" Athelstan burst into tears again, leaning forward to hide his face in Tegan's hair.

The young woman sat frozen for a second, but she was quick to let her hands stroke her brother calmingly on the back. She used a couple of moments to gather her thoughts. She knew that there were many people who would die if the northmen went back to England, many families would be torn apart, and she understood that her brother felt guilty, but she also knew that it was not his fault.

"Hey, sweetheart. This is not your fault. Yes, you had a conversation with Ragnar about England, but I really doubt you told him anything he did not already know. Ragnar and his men has already been to England, they have already seen the treasures that can be found there. I strongly believe that they would have gone back regardless of Ragnar's conversation with you. You can not blame yourself for this, Athelstan, because it would have happened eventually anyway" Tegan muttered, leaning her cheek to rest on the back of her brother's head.

"Are you certain about that?" Athelstan's voice was muffled as he spoke his question into her neck. Tegan smiled encouragingly as she drew away from their embrace, forcing her brother to meet her gaze.

"This was not your fault, Athelstan, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent these men from entering England. I am sure of it" Her brother's eyes were still filled with tears, but he had stopped shaking. "How about we go to sleep, and hopefully you will fell better in the morning" 

Tegan laid the both of them down on the cot, and Athelstan buried his face in her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around him, stroking him comfortingly on the back as she hummed a random melody in the hopes that it would make him fall asleep faster. Tegan had not been humming for long when she heard her brother's first soft snores, and she finally closed her own eyes.

* * *

 

Tegan was the first one to wake the next morning as well, but this time she had decided not to walk out of the house. She carefully climbed out of the cot, making sure not to wake Athelstan in the process. She smiled softly down at him, he seemed so peaceful when he was sleeping, like nothing was wrong with the world. Tegan turned away from him and glanced over to the small window near the door. The sun was just peaking up in the horizon, but she did not go out to watch it. Instead, she made her way over to the loom to continue working on the cloth Lagertha had told her to leave on the loom the day before.

She had no idea how long time had passed when she heard other movements in the house other than herself. Tegan did not look up from her work, and therefore she had no idea who had gotten out of bed until Lagertha was standing next to her.

"You are a natural Tegan, these look wonderful" Lagertha spoked as examined the cloth Tegan had been working on. 

"Thank you. I really do hope I did not wake you. I woke early, and decided to avoid a repetition of yesterday morning, so I decided to stay inside until someone else woke up" Tegan kept her gaze fastened on the work in front of her, though she had stopped working, only watching the loom to keep her eyes from travelling over to Lagertha.

The older woman let out a low chuckle, and grabbed her hand. Tegan's eyes widened as Lagertha pulled her out of her seat, only a few inches separating the two women. 

"You are allowed to go outside whenever you wish for it, now that we know the you do it" Tegna did not answer, she only nodded as a response, and kept her eyes fastened on their still intertwined hands. Tegan drew in a sharp breath of surprised when Lagertha's other hand came up to her chin, forcing her to meet the older woman's gaze. "Has anyone ever told you that you are truly beautiful?" 

Tegan did not answer her, to shocked by Lagertha's words to actually form a sentence. She only shook her head as a furious blush appeared on her cheeks. Lagertha's chuckled lowly as she took in Tegan's now flushed face. The older woman used her free hand to cup Tegan's cheek, letting her thumb stroke over the younger woman's cheekbone. 

"You could even compare to the beauty of Freya herself" Tegan was not certain of who Freya was, but the way Lagertha spoke her name, she got the feeling that the unknown woman might be someone very important. For all Tegan knew, she could even be one of Lagertha's many gods. 

"Thank you" Tegan managed to stutter out, and Lagertha let out a loud and clear laugh. Tegan was mesmerized by the sound, and she decided then and there that she would hear it as often as possible. 

The two women were interrupted when Ragnar joined them. His armes sneaked around Lagertha's waist as he placed playful kisses on his wives neck.

"Are you two getting along then?" he smirked knowingly. Tegan had difficulties with understanding their relationship. The two of them were married, obviously, and they clearly loved each other very much, but at the same time, they both seemed open to other options, like they were looking for another relationship.

"Yes we are" Lagertha smiled. She let go of Tegan's hand and turned to kiss her husband. Tegan turned away from the couple, feeling like she was intruding on them.

"Tegan, go wake your brother, I'm making breakfast" Lagertha smiled when she broke away from Ragnar. Tegna nodded silently and turned to the cot where her brother were still sleeping.

"Why don't you help Lagertha with breakfast, and I will wake your brother" Ragnar grinned, laying a heavy hand on Tegan's shoulder. She eyed him wearily, aware of her brother's poor state of mind the night before, she did not want Ragnar to scare him. "I will be nice, I promise, you have nothing to be afraid of" 

Ragnar's massive grin turned into a kind smile, and he gently pushed Tegan towards where Lagertha was cutting up a piece of bread.

The two women worked in silence, but they both stole small glances of each other, and they were both smiling. Tegan could feel a blush work it's way to her cheeks, and she grew redder every time she felt Lagertha's eyes on her. 

"Tegan, will you go fetch Bjorn and Gyda, tell them that the food is ready" Lagertha smiled as she put the last slice of bread in a basket, placing it on the table. Athelstan and Ragnar was already seated, and as fast as Lagertha placed the food in front of them, Ragnar threw himself over the bread.

Tegan did not pay attention to what happened after that, as she turned towards where the children slept, but by the yelp Ragnar came with, she assumed that Lagertha hit him.

"Bjorn, Gyda, wake up. It's breakfast" she said lowly as she approached the two children. Gyda started to stir, but Bjorn stayed asleep. "Your mother says you have to get up"

Gyda nodded tiredly, rubbing her eyes as she let out a huge yawn as she climbed out of bed to join her parents. Tegan smiled at her, then turned her attention to Bjorn. His breathing had changed, so Tegan knew he was awake, but he was refusing to get up.

"Bjorn, I really do think you should get up, your father will end up eating all the food if you do not get over there to stop him" Tegan drew her hand though the young boys hair, ruffling it slightly. Her words seemed to wake him, as he abruptly turned around and looked up at her with wide eyes.

"He wouldn't!" he exclaimed, looking from Tegan and over to where Gyda sat down next to Athelstan.

"He won't if you get up" Tegan smiled and moved out of his way, just in time for Bjorn to jump out of bed and run over to the table. Tegan giggled under her breath and followed after him, carefully sitting down next to Lagertha as they ate.

The meal went on in silence, and Tegan could see that Ragnar was thinking about something. What he was thinking, she had no idea, but by the look on her brother's face, she suspected that it had something to to with him. There was a tense moment of silence after they had all finished eating, Tegan glanced over at her brother, who was sitting next to Ragnar, but he kept his eyes firmly on his now empty plate.

"I have the Earl's permission to sail back to England, I want to leave as soon as possible" Ragnar said after clearing his throat. He stood up and walked around the table. Lagertha moved abruptly, taking her plate over to the counter without a word. She hung her head for a moment, as if in thought, then she turned around. 

"How soon is that?" Lagertha's voice sounded tense. She did not turn around as she spoke, but she started fiddling with something lying on the bench. Ragnar glanced over at her, then he moved across the room again.

"Tomorrow" he stated calmly as he started to tie up a package Tegan had failed to see earlier. Tegan watched the couple through her eyelashes, deciding to keep her head down towards the table, but still assessing the situation. Lagertha turned around, a shocked look on her face.

"We all wish you success. We will sacrifice to Odin" was all she said, with a sigh, like she was disappointed, but knew all along that Ragnar would be going back sooner rather than later. The house was filled with a tense silence, which was only broken by the couple as they spoke.

"Are you not coming?" Ragnar spoke, he looked up from the bag he was packing, but he did not turn around. It seemed that Tegan was not the only one that was surprised by his question, as the others around the table snapped their attention towards him. Lagertha also seemed surprised.

"What?" she asked. Ragnar finally turned around and looked at his wife, a hopeful smile on his face.

"I want you to come with me" he sounded timid, like he was worried that Lagertha might say no.

"But the farm, the children?" Lagertha asked, shock seeming to linger on her shoulders as she stepped forward to her husband. Tegan looked over to her brother, but Athelstan kept his gaze fastened on the couple, following their movements with his eyes.

 "Bjorn is still to young, although he can help on the farm" Ragnar walked over to the table, and put himself right behind Athelstan. The northman's heavy hands landed on the younger man's shoulders. Tegan could see her brother shrinking in on himself, but it did not seem like Ragnar noticed.

"But, who is to be in charge?" Bjorn asked from where he was sitting next to Tegan. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion as he looked up at his father. 

"The priest and his sister, I'll leave them with the key" both of the siblings snapped their eyes to Ragnar in shock. Why would he leave the responsibility in their hands, they weren't even free people!? 

"Father, you can not raise the slaves above me! Your natural son!" Bjorn stood up in his seat, and gestured angrily to Tegan and Athelstan, who both avoided his gaze. Ragnar met his sons eyes with a challenging stare, and Bjorn silently sat down, shock and confusion clear on his face.

"I do not regard either of them like a slave. Athelstan is a responsible person, and Tegan knows how to run a farm" Ragnar answered his son, leaving no room for discussion. Lagertha looked from her husband and over to Tegan, a fond smile on her lips. 

"Please, Ragnar Lothbrok, don't do this" Athelstan shocked Tegan when he spoke up. Her brother got out of his seat and turned to Ragnar, a pleading look in his eyes. Tegan could not understand where her brother found the courage to speak so freely, but she was happy that he finally seemed to break of his shell.

"What do you think Gyda?" Ragnar turned to his daughter, completely ignoring Athelstan's protests. Tegan could not help but agree with her brother. She knew that Ragnar and Lagertha had been especially kind towards her and her brother, and with them gone, she feared that someone might take advantage of the pairs absence, someone being people like Rollo.

"I don't mind, I like the priest, and Tegan!" Gyda smiled, sitting up straighter. Ragnar chuckled and bent down stroking his daughters cheek lovingly.

"Then it is decided" and the sound of Ragnar's voice let everyone in the room know that the conversation was settled. The older man glance up at Athelstan form where he was bent down with his daughter, then he abruptly left the table.

Lagertha's smile was kind and playful as she let her eyes follow her husband. Athelstan and Bjorn both seemed shocked, Tegan was to, she was just better at hiding it, and Gyda just seemed happy that she got to make the final decision.

Tegan barely noticed Bjorn's gaze towards her brother, it was heated, and she would almost say that it was hateful. Her brother sat back down, and folded his hands on the table, keeping his eyes fastened to them. Lagertha crossed the room to stand by the table. She was standing by the end, Tegan on her right side and Athelstan on her left. The older women bent down, and while she sent Tegan a small glance, her terrifying glare was directed at Athelstan.

"If any harm befals my children, I will tear the lungs out of your body, both of you" she said menacingly. Tegan could feel a chill run down her back, and she did not doubt for a second that Lagertha would go through with her threat.

"You do not need to worry, if either of your children are harmed, it will be because me and my brother are already dead" Tegan spoke after a tense moment of silence. Athelstan was not about to say anything, but Tegan knew that this was one thing they were alike on. They would both rather die than see a child harmed.

Lagertha seemed happy with her answer, as she gave the younger woman a curt nod, then she left the house.

"Did you really mean that Tegan? Would you die to protect us?" Gyda wondered, turning to the young woman. Bjorn rolled his eyes and stormed out, making sure to hit Athelstan over the back of the head before he left.

"Of course I would, Gyda. You have to remember, I was a mother, and the pain of loosing ones child is a suffering too terrible to name. I would not wish that upon my worst enemy" Tegan assured the young girl, who beamed back at her. She stood up from her seat by the table and ran after her brother, slamming the door behind her.

"Lagertha scares me" Athelstan muttered as he raised his chin, the tension in his shoulders leaving since they were finally left alone. Tegan glanced over at the door with a thoughtful expression.

"I agree. I like her"

* * *

 The rest of the day was spent with the siblings helping the couple pack the things they would need on their crossing, and when everything was packed and ready, Lagertha showed Tegan where everything was and how to take care of the farm. 

"We keep all our tools in the shed, and it is important that everything is put back into place when you are finished with it. And make sure that you clean everything that gets dirty" Lagertha finished the last part of their tour around the farm. She had made sure that Tegan knew every little nook of the farm, and that she would know all the inns and outs, in case Bjorn decided not to help. Tegan had no idea where her brother was, but she knew that he was off somewhere with Ragnar. She took herself in glancing around, looking for him, and Lagertha obviously knew what she was looking for.

"Do not worry, Tegan, your brother is safe. Ragnar is showing him around inside, and I can assure you that my husband is only showing Athelstan around, and not what I know you fear he has done" Lagertha gave Tegan a warm smile, and took her hand in hers. "I think it is very sweet, how you look after your brother. After what I understood, you did not get to grow up together, no? And yet you seem to care greatly for him."

"He is the only family I have left, I would die for him" Tegan said, her serious tone made Lagertha chuckle.

"As you would die for my children?"

"As I told your daughter earlier, loosing a child is something no one should have to go through. They are innocent, and I will do anything to keep any child safe" Lagertha wanted to smile, but the serious expression on Tegan's face reminded the older woman about the fact that Tegan had in fact lost two children. In many ways, the younger woman had had a harder life than Lagertha had. 

"I do not doubt you" Lagertha's smile was careful and supportive, and Tegan found herself smiling back.

"Lagertha! We need to leave! I want to be in town as soon as possible" Ragnar was standing outside the door, Athelstan by his side. The northman was staring at the two women, but Athelstan's head was bowed. Tegan struggled to keep back a frown at her brother's hunched figure, and despite Lagertha's assurance, she worried about what Ragnar had done to her brother. 

"All right. I will be ready soon!" Lagertha yelled back. The older woman made her way back to the house, and Tegan followed after. She fell back as they reached the men, taking har brother's hand, making him look up at her. 

"Are you okay, brother? Did he hurt you?" she asked, keeping to Saxon so that the other would be unable to understand them. Athelstan nodded in return. He opened his answer mouth to answer, but changed his mind, snapping it shut. Tegan examined his face, searching for some sign of a lie, but found none. 

"I have not touched your brother, Tegan. You may think me cruel, but touching someone without their consent is something I would never do" Ragnar showed up at their side, and Athelstan's eyes widened again. Tegan felt her back straighten as she turned her head towards the older man.

"Forgive me then, Ragnar Lothbrok, but your actions, or rather your lack of them, when you found us back in England made me believe otherwise" Tegan spoke, switching back to the northerners language. Ragnar frowned at the silent accusation in her voice.

"I am not my brother. I would never do that to you" he protested loudly.

"I am sure you would not, but you still allowed your brother to do it. And that may be even worse" Tegan snapped. She knew that her tone could bring consequences, but she felt assured by the reaction Lagertha had had when she mentioned what Ragnar had allowed Rollo to do, and that the older woman would not be happy if Ragnar did something similar.

"I see. He will not do anything of that sort again, I can assure you that. You are my slave after all, and he can not touch you" Ragnar's face was unreadable, and Tegan answered with a small nod of dismissal. Athelstan's eyes went even wider as he saw the disrespect Tegan spoke to Ragnar with, but the young woman could not help but feel that this violent man would not harm her, or her brother. She would stay suspicious, but she could not help but feel safe somehow.

"If Ragnar does not make sure of it, then I will. Believe me when I say, Tegan, that the next time Rollo touches you without you wanting him to, I will serve him his balls on a plate" Athelstan let out a small squeak at Lagertha's crude words. Tegan sent him a small smile before she looked up at the older woman.

"Thank you" was all she said.

Ragnar looked between the two women, and he seemed to reach a silent agreement with his wife.

"Come Priest, I need your help with something before I leave" his hand fell heavy on Athelstan's shoulder as he lead him away, giving the women some privacy. Lagertha and Tegan was looking after them until they disappeared back into the house.

"I hope you will be fine while we are gone" Lagertha started carefully, turning her body completely towards Tegan.

"And I wish you luck on your journey" the younger woman said back. She knew very well what would happen when Ragnar and his men, and Lagertha, arrived back in England. She was saddened about the damage that would happen in whatever town they reached, but she could not help but hope that they would come back to the farm again.

Lagertha gave her a tight smile, as if she knew that Tegan only spoke half the truth.

"Thank you, but that was not my point. What I meant is that I really want you to be well while we are gone, and that while I know that I can trust you to protect my children until death, I do not wish you to be harmed while we are gone" Lagertha took Tegan's hand in hers and looked into her eyes. No matter how hard Tegan tried to look away, she found that she couldn't, and quite frankly, she did not want to. The younger woman could feel the blush rise to her cheeks again, and Lagertha smiled. 

"I have to leave now, but I will be back. So stay safe" Ragnar came back out of the house with two large packs on his backs, Athelstan following after him quietly. None of them looked over at the two women, and they did not seem to notice what Lagertha did next.

The older woman bent down to Tegan's height and kissed her cheek. Her lips rested on Tegan's skin for a moment, then she bent forward and whispered in her ear; "Stay safe."

Tegan flushed, her face turning red as her entire being froze. Lagertha squeezed her hand carefully and pulled away, walking over to her husband. Tegan finally managed to gather her own thoughts and stuttered a "you too" back before the older woman was to far away to hear her. 

Athelstan came to stand beside her as they took in the couple, he grabbed her hand and held it in his as they saw Lagertha and Ragnar say goodbye to their children.

"Remember what I said, priest, and think about it until I return" Ragnar winked before they left. Tegan sent her brother a shocked look, and instead of seeing the frightened look she had been expecting, her brother had flushed, his cheeks a flaming red as his eyes widened. Ragnar's laugh could be heard for a long time after they left the farm.

* * *

 

The time when Lagertha and Ragnar was gone passed by in a blur. Tegan and Bjorn was working the farm, making sure that the crops grew as they should, that the animals were fed and that they had fish for the table. They talked, about small things, and most of the time it was Tegan talking to Bjorn, who refused to answer, but once in a while he would come with a shocked remark, and then promptly look away. Tegan would smile then, knowingly as she looked up at the shy boy.

"You do not need to play though for me, Bjorn, I know you are strong. But you are also young" Tegan said one day while she was cutting up and cleaning the fish the two of them had caught earlier that day.

"I am not a child!" Bjorn had snapped, angry eyes looking over at Tegan. She had smiled calmly and shook her head. 

"I did not say that. You are not a child, but you are not an adult either. I know that it must be hard for you. Too young to be an adult, but too old to be  child. I know you are strong, Bjorn, but you are also uncertain. It is no need for you to play though around me. You are curious, and you wonder, and that is good. You have to learn if you wish to become a man" 

"What does that mean" the young boy had snapped again, though this time a little less forcefully.

"My father used to say that knowledge was more important than muscles, that no matter how strong your body are, there will always be a stronger mind that can defeat you. I think you will have both when you grow, Bjorn. You will become both strong, and smart, just like your father" Bjorn's eyes had widened at her words, and face had broken into a huge smile, his entire being lighting up with happiness.

"You really think so?" he had asked.

"I know so" Tegan smiled, then she turned back to the fish.

 

Life on the farm was a little strange to her, for while she was used to the hard work outside, she had been used to doing all the work inside as well. But that was not what was happening now. For while Tegan and Bjorn took care of everything on the farm, Athelstan and Gyda took care of the house. They were cleaning, and weaving, making food and cleaning the dishes, and Tegan was relieved. 

Lagertha and Ragnar had been gone for a while when the question finally came from Bjorn. Tegan had been waiting on it for a while, and she was uncertain how Athelstan would answer to it.

They were sitting by the table for dinner, Athelstan putting a plate with smalahove, a cooked sheep head, on the table, when Bjorn spoke up.

"I want to go to Kattegat" 

The two grown siblings looked up, Tegan with a knowing sigh, and Athelstan with wide and shocked eyes. His gaze travelled to Tegan, as if to ask her, but she just gestured for him to talk to Bjorn. The two of them had not been getting along, although it was more like Bjorn did not get along with Athelstan as the other way around.

"I want to see my father return soon. He must return soon" Bjorn continued speaking after a brief pause. Tegan glanced over at Gyda, and although the young girl did not say anything, it was obvious that she also wanted to go and meet their parents.

"My sister and I gave your parents our words that we would look after you both here" Athelstan answered. Tegan could notice the anxious look on his face, and she knew that no matter what Athelstan decided now, he would think about it later.

"You are not looking after us. We look after ourselves" Bjorn retorted. While there was truth in what he said, as neither Athelstan or Tegan had been acting like their guardians, she knew that neither Gyda nor Bjorn would have survived there without them. Bjorn was good at looking after the farm, but he could not cook, and while Gyda was great with food, she would not be able to make dinner for them both by herself.

"I can not allow you to go on you own to Kattegat. Your father would never tolerate such a thing" Tegan could tell by the tone of his voice that Athelstan had decided, and that offering to take the children now would be foolish.

"Then we should go together. The four of us!" Athelstan sat down next to Gyda as Bjorn spoke. He was sitting next to Tegan and glanced up at her with an eager look. After their talk while cleaning fish, he seemed more open to her, but he still had a hard time taking to her brother.

"And who will then look after the farm?" Athelstan dismissed Bjorn quietly.

"Can't you stay here, then Tegan can take me and Gyda?!" Bjorn seemed to get frustrated and even angry, so Tegan decided to step in.

"You have to understand Bjorn, we want to take you. We want you to be able to meet your parents when they come back. But neither of us are strong enough to take you by ourselves. If I were to take you, and leave Athelstan behind, he would not be able to protect the farm, and I would not be able to protect you and myself against any attackers that meets us on the way, and the other way around" Tegan explained calmly, and Bjorn nodded in understanding, though he did send Athelstan a sour look before he turned to his food.

Athelstan promptly ignored Bjorn's look and started saying his grace.

"For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly grateful"

"Amen" Tegan joined him at the last part, smiling at Bjorn and Gyda's confused faces. Her brother had said grace before dinner ever since Lagertha and Ragnar left, and while the children always seemed puzzled by it, they never asked.

The rest of the meal went on in silence, until Gyda interrupted carefully.

"Can I have some ale?" Tegan giggled silently at Gyda's question. She was looking up at Athelstan, who was about to take a swig from his cup.

"You are to young, Gyda, to drink ale" Athelstan replied kindly, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. Tegan smiled at the young girl and turned back to her food, but her attention snapped back up when Bjorn reached over the table. The young boy sat his cup of ale firmly in front of his sister and glared challengingly up at Athelstan.  

Gyda took the cup gingerly and took a sip. Tegan almost snorted at the face she made as she set the cup back down.

"Ale is not something you drink for the taste, but the feeling you get afterwards. I have never liked it either, Gyda" Tegan said and took a sip of her water. Gyda just smiled up at her.

"I want to make a sacrifice to Odin" Bjorn interrupted the silence again, a challenge still clear on his face. "For my father's safe return"

"What will you sacrifice?" Tegan asked, looking down at the young boy. He stood up abruptly, leaning over the table towards her brother. 

"Your stupid brother" came the angry answer. Bjorn slapped his cup of the table, spilling ale on the floor and quickly stormed out of the room. The three that was left behind looked after him with shocked expressions, though Athelstan's was more sad than shocked.

"I do not understand what I did to him" he sighed.

"You have to understand, brother, that Bjorn is not used to us being her. We have not been her very long, and his father already trusts us to take care of the farm better than he trusts his son to do it. He will come around, I am sure of it, just give him some time" Tegan smiled carefully. "Come, Gyda. You and I can take the dishes"

 

Tegan and Gyda worked quickly with the leftovers, Athelstan had taken to read his Bible again, and Bjorn was hacking away on a pole with a training sword. Tegan was watching him through the window, making sure that he would not hurt himself. The rest of the day went on like that, and before they knew it, the sun was setting, and the children had gone to bed.

"I do not know what to do, Tegan" Athelstan muttered dejectedly as she sat down next to him on their cot.

"About what?" Athelstan laid down with his head in her lap.

"About Bjorn. I do not know how to get him to, at least tolerate me. He seems to like you, but he hates me" Athelstan sighed. Tegan took a small moment to think and startet to play with his dark curls.

"It could be that it is because you are a young man, and that is what Bjorn sees himself at. He is afraid that you will take his place by Ragnar's side" Tegan explained carefully.

"But I wouldn't do that, you know it!" Athelstan protested. It was a weak and quiet protest, mumbled into Tegan's skirt.

"I know that, brother, but Bjorn doesn't. He thinks you are here to take his place, and the more you boss him around, the angrier he is going to get" Tegan sighed.

"Do you think I should take them to Kattegat?" Tegan's shoulder sagged at her brother's uncertain tone, and she lightly tugged at his curls. Athelstan looked up at her, doubt clear on his face.

"If you think that is best, then yes. It would make the children happy with you, and it might make Bjorn less hostile towards you"

"Will you come with us?" Athelstan mumbled, turning away again. Tegan smiled down at him.

"Of course I will Athelstan" Tegan assured him. She knew that while they were safe on Lagertha and Ragnar's farm, the rules in Kattegat was very different, and they could be in danger, especially if they went by themselves.

"I should tell Bjorn and Gyda" Athelstan sat up and got out of the cot, Tegan's eyes following him as he moved towards the children's shared bed. She could barely hear the conversation they had, but she saw the reaction on Bjorn's face after Athelstan had told them about their plans. The young boys face lit up in a smile, and though it was not directed at her brother, it made the lump in her throat a little smaller. 

 


	4. The wrath of the Earl

Tegan and Gyda had woken up early the next morning, wanting to make sure that the goats were looked after before they left. It was still early, and neither Athelstan nor Bjorn had woken yet. Tegan was a little surprised that Bjorn had slept as long as he did, seeing as he had been so delighted the day before that they were going to meet Lagertha and Ragnar in Kattegat. 

The only sound that could really be heard was the goats, and some of the other people around the farm, though it was Gyda that broke the silence, speaking softly.

"Do you and the priest have any family?"

Tegan paused her movements and looked up at the young girl. Gyda was standing with a bucket full of food for the goats, while Tegan was sitting, petting one of the goats softly.

"We did have four other brothers, all four of them died of a fever, like mother and father did. Athelstan was lucky, he was sent to the monastery as a very young child, so he was not living with us when they died. I do not know how I survived it, but I somehow did. I later found out that father had made one attempt to marry me of, and you already know that story" Tegan's smiled was sad, the pain from loosing her family still fresh in her heart, even after so many years. She mourned for her lost brothers, her parents, and her children. She could not bring herself to mourn her husband, and while she had done what was propper when he died, her period of mourning had been so short that the people on nearby farms had nearly missed it.

"Why did they put Athelstan away?" was the Gyda's next question.

"We were simply to many. Mother and father had trouble to keep us all fed, and as Athelstan was the youngest, he was given away"

"How old were you?"

"Athelstan was five, I do not think he remember much of our family, I was seven. We did not have any contact after that. Then our family died and I married Ianto, and I had Nia, and Sion. Then they all died as well. And I left my home to find my brother" Tegan was not sure how much of her life story Gyda was willing to hear, she was not even certain how much she was willing to tell, so Tegan kept it vague. 

"So you are alone, the two of you?"

"No. Our God is with us, so we are never alone, he is always keeping watch, and taking care of us" Tegan smiled up at Gyda, though the conviction in her words were wavering. 

"What does your god look like?" Gyda put her bucket down and sat down next to Tegan.

"I do believe that Athelstan would be better at answering these questions, as he is the one that was taught these things, but I will give it a try" Tegan said, pausing to think about an answer that would please Gyda. "No one can really know what God looks like, I believe it is more about what God feels like. Where we feel him, how we feel his presence, but how his face is shaped, and how he wears his hair, no one really knows. He is bright though. Bright and warm, and I think I overheard a priest once, that said looking at God would be like looking into the sun and that it could not be done"

Gyda did not seem satisfied with her answer, not that the young girl looked angry, just more curious than she did before asking her question.

"He did, however, send his only son to Earth, to protect humans from themselves, and he looked like a man." Gyda seemed to think about her answers for a second, then she smiled.

"Odin, Thor and Loki are like men!" she exclaimed.

"Those are some of your gods?" Tegan was curious about the northern gods, and she was eager to learn more. She was hoping that maybe hearing more about other gods would help her back to her belief in her own. 

"Yes, though there are many more" Gyda's excitement made Tegan smile.

"And I am looking forward to learning more about all of them" Their conversation was broken off when Bjorn joined them, his eyes wide open and eager.

"I did not see you wake up, I was waiting for you to get out of bed!" he exclaimed, smiling sheepishly. "Was it you that convinced the Priest to let us go to Kattegat today?"

"I did not. Athelstan decided that you and your sister should be able to great your parents when they come back, and I agreed with him" Tegan answered, smiling softly. Bjorn only nodded, then he muttered something about breakfast before he bounded back inside. Tegan and Gyda followed after him slowly, Tegan nodding towards her brother as he got out of bed to start breakfast.

It was a quick meal, and Bjorn finished first. He was sitting impatiently in his seat as Tegan and Athelstan finished up and put away the dishes. Gyda was quietly drinking from her cup of water, waiting for the siblings to finish.

"Come on! We have to leave now if we are going to make it in time!" Bjorn groaned as Tegan put away the last plate.

"We are about to leave, be patient Bjorn" she said as she rose from her knees. Athelstan wrung water from a cloth and put it on the counter, then they were ready to leave.

 

The walk to Kattegat felt shorter then the time Tegan had walked to the farm, and she was grateful that she now had shoes. They all walked in silence, Bjorn running a little on front of everyone else, and occasionally urging them to hurry up.

When they finally reached Kattegat it was already a little after midday, and it seemed that Ragnar and Lagertha had already returned. While Tegan was relieved that they were home, and in Kattegat already, she could not help but feel like something was wrong. There was something about the feeling in town that made her shoulders tense up.

"Bjorn, come over here" Tegan called anxiously as they entered the town. She was certain that no one would hurt Bjorn, as they very well knew who his father was, and that he was a free man, but she could not help but be careful anyway. The young boy came over to her with an annoyed huff, but he did try to run away again.

"What is wrong, Tegan?" Athelstan asked. He was walking a step behind her, Gyda's hand in his to make sure that the young girl did not wander of.

"Something is wrong. I am not sure what, but I think we need to find Lagertha and Ragnar as soon as possible."

The four of them did not have to look for long, they were down by the docks when Gyda saw her mother. The young girl tore her hand out of Athelstan's grip and took of, yelling for her mother. Lagertha turned towards them with a stressed out expression on her face, but as soon as she locked har gaze on them, she visibly relaxed.

Bjorn took of towards his mother, but unlike his sister, he did not throw himself at her for a hug. Tegan and Athelstan followed the two children quickly, and reached the others while Lagertha was still looking over her children. 

"Welcome back" Tegan said politely, and Lagertha sent her a small smile.

"Mother, where is father?" Bjorn asked, craning his neck and looking around the docks.

"He has been arrested. The Earl believes he murdered Knut" Neither Tegan nor Athelstan knew who Knut was, but both's eyes went wide with surprise at the accusation.

"What is going to happen now, mother?" Gyda asked, clutching at Lagertha's shirt. Tegan lifted her hand and drew it through her hair, a heavy sigh escaping her lips.

"We will all go to the trial, and pray to the Gods that your father will be sat free"

* * *

 

The town hall was filled to the brim when the five of them finally got there. Lagertha, Bjorn and Gyda entered first, making way to the front of the crowd, and Athelstan and Tegan followed timidly behind them, clutching each others hand tightly. They stopped close to the podium, and Tegan made sure to keep her attention away from all the people around her. She was keeping her focus firmly on her brother, who did the same. 

The siblings stumbled slightly to the side as someone broke through the crowd to stand in front of the podium, and Tegan glanced up to see who it was.

Her entire being froze as her eyes landed on Rollo's strong frame. Athelstan gave her a confused look and turned around to follow her gaze. He abruptly turned around again and put his hands on her shoulders. "You're fine sister, he will no reach you here, and Lagertha would never allow it. You know that" he whispered to her. Tegan nodded, still taking one step closer to her brother, hiding her face in his shoulder. It did not seem like Rollo noticed her.

The Earl and his wife was the next to enter the room. The two of them walked together up to the podium, gracefully sitting down in their seats as they glanced over the crowd.

"Bring in the prisoner" the Earl said. The front doors were opened wide, and Ragnar was pushed into the building and though the crowd by guards. His hands were in chains, but he did not look afraid nor weary. The people around him started yelling at him, insults and other angry words flying through the room. Tegan could see that Bjorn whispered something to his mother, but she could not hear what he had said above the noise in the big room.

"It's all right boy" Ragnar sent his son a small smile before he turned to face the Earl.

"We are all aware of the sacred nature of our nature here today. You stad accused of the wilful murder of Knut, my brother. Knut, as some of you know, was the bastard son of my father, but I loved him like a brother" The Earl talked both to Ragnar and to the crowd as he spoke, but there was something about him that made Tegan want to leave. She had been dealing with power hungry men her entire adult life, and while she was not that old, she had seen her fair share of false trials, where innocent men had been hung for crimes they did not commit so that the man accusing him might get his property. It was awful business, and Tegan did not want to be a part of it.

"I asked Knut to go with Ragnar Lothbrok to England, where they raided a town and bought back many spoils" the Earl continued his trying to convince the crowd of his obvious lie. Tegan had not known Ragnar for long, but she prided herself on being a good judge of character, and Ragnar did not seem to be the type of man to murder one of his own in cold blood. "While they were raiding this town, Ragnar Lothbrok took it upon himself to cold-bloodedly kill my brother."

The crowd grew louder, and the insults seemed to grow harsher. Tegan and Athelstan could not understand the words they used, but judging by Lagertha's and her children's posture it was bad. The Earl let them all simmer for a bit before he gestured for them to calm down.

"It's easy to imagine why a man like this would do such a thing. This is an ambiguous man, he doesn't care to share his spoils, and he resents the fact that he owes me loyalty and obedience, as his chieftain" Tegan could feel her own anger and frustration grow with the man's words. She knew very well of what Ragnar had done to her brother and herself, but she also knew that they could have ended up in a much worse situation, like poor brother Bevin, or even worse, with Rollo.

"This is a man who does not believe in our traditions. This is a man who does not believe in our laws!" The crowd went wild again, shouting louder and pushing forward, like they were ready to punish Ragnar themselves.

"Silence! Silence! What do you have to say, when you stand stand before us, and know that you must tell the truth?" Ragnar took a step towards the podium as the crowd silenced.

"It is true that I killed Knut, sadly, your brother. But I killed him when I found him trying to rape my wife" a shock went through the room, and Tegan's eyes snapped to Lagertha. The older woman did not let any feelings show, so whether she had not been affected by the assault or if she tried to hide it was not certain. Tegan felt shocked, she knew all about being forced into sexual encounters, and while she had never tried to get away from it, she had never enjoyed sex, ever. 

"I ask all of you freemen, what would you do if you were in my place? Would you have just stood back and encouraged the culprit? I don't think you would!" Tegan could not help but think about her own husband, who had done just that, stood back, watched and encouraged it, and she quickly shook it of, refusing to let him have that sort of grip on her, even after his death. "And even if I had known at the time that he was your brother, I would have carried out the same sentence" 

"Do you seriously ask us to believe your story?" The Earl's servant scoffed, the sounds of protest in the room rose, and whether they were protesting against Ragnar or the Earl, Tegan had no idea. She did not know what they thought about the rape of free women in this country. In England it was frowned upon, but it was usually the woman who took the blame.

"I can confirm the story!" Lagertha took a step forward, placing herself just inside the circle of people, closer to her husband than to her children. Tegan was tempted to take step forward and stand with her, but she knew that the consequences could be bad, at least for her. So she stood her ground by her brother, and put one calming hand on Bjorn's shoulder. Gyda took a careful step backwards, and her hand found Athelstan's, squeezing it worriedly.

"You are the wife of Ragnar Lothbrok?" the Earl asked. Lagertha nodded in response.

"I am, lord"

"How extraordinary that you both happened to be there at the same time. Your husband is lying, and you are so under his thumb that he has convinced you to lie as well" the Earl's voice sounded so convinced that Tegan nearly believed that he thought that to be the truth, but there was something in his eyes that told her that this powerful man knew exactly what he was doing.

"May Thor strike you dead" came Lagertha's deadpan answer. Tegan, Athelstan and the children both froze to the spot. Tegan's hand strengthen her hold on Bjorn's shoulder as she saw the young boy move to stand with his parents. Athelstan's hand tightened his hold on hers, and they stood staring in shock on the scene playing out in front of them.

"What did you say?" the Earl hissed out. Everyone in the room was completely silent, holding their breath while they waited for some sort of reaction from the main people in the room. 

"My husband did not kill Knut Tjodolf" Lagertha said, her voice was calm and collected, but at the same time, Tegan could not help but feel a shiver run down her spine at the ice in her voice.

"The who did?" the Earl's servant scoffed, his expression was puzzled, and for a moment, it seemed like the Earl had lost the hold of the situation. At Lagertha's next revelation, the room started shouting again. 

"I did! I killed him!" she shouted. "I stabbed him in the heart when he tried his best to rape me!" Lagertha's face was furious, and neither Tegan nor Athelstan could help but shrink under the tension that was filling the room. At the same time as she felt the anxiety built up in herself, Tegan could not help but admire Lagertha. Her strength, her fire, her willingness to stand up against the people that was sitting above her without fear of the consequences. If Tegan had done something similar back in England when her husband was still alive, she would have been laughed at at best, and hanged for adultery at the worst.

The Earl's manservant spoke up again, addressing the room with a mocking grin on his face. "A murder has been committed, and the only witnesses are husband and wife."

"Unfortunately we cannot tell who committed the crime, because they both claim credit for it" The Earl's face was hard to read, and Tegan was not certain whether he was amused or angry, and she was not looking forward to find out. 

"Tegan" Athelstan's warm breath tickled her ear as he whispered quietly to her.

"Yes, brother?" she answered, not taking her eyes of the situation in front of them.

"What do we do if they are both claimed guilty?" Athelstan's worries were real, and Tegan could not help but fear for their lives if it came to both Lagertha and Ragnar's death. Tegan took a pause to think.

"If it comes to that, we get the children out of here, and back to the farm. We have no idea what happened here, and we protect the two of them, like we promised. If they come for us, we can only hope, dear brother. May God be with us" Tegan muttered, squeezing his hand. Her words were strained, and she could feel her heart speed up as her eyes followed the movement of the people by the podium.

"You didn't kill my brother, look at you, how could you?" Tegan could see Lagertha tense up at the Earl's words, and somehow she felt relieved that Lagertha would not get the blame. While Tegan fully believed Lagertha's story, and she knew that the older woman was fully capable to actually kills someone, she was glad that the Earl thought otherwise. "He killed my brother! Ragnar Lothbrok killed my brother!" the Earl pointed an accusing finger at Ragnar, and Tegan's free hand got a tighter grip on Bjorn's shoulder as the young boy was about to step forward again.

 "We have proof, we have a witness to the killing" the manservant's words seemed to shock both Lagertha and Ragnar, and Tegan could feel her entire being tense up again, even Athelstan's posture seemed a bit stiffer. What happened next seemed to be an even bigger shock to the entire Lothbrok family, and Tegan nearly took a step backwards as the man stepped out in front of the crowd. Rollo did not look at his brother, but kept his gaze firmly on the Earl.

"You say you are a witness to the death of Knut Tjodolf?" the manservant droned on. Tegan had never in her entire life encountered a man with a more condescending voice.

"Yes" Rollo's answer was short, and he seemed uncertain and uncomfortable with the attention. Tegan saw some of the men that had sailed with Ragnar and Rollo the day they had caught her and her brother, and she saw them give disbelieving and angry looks towards Rollo.

"Will you swear this upon your armring?" the manservant continued. Tegan had understood long ago that there were traditions in this land that she did not understand, the arm rings being one of them. She understood that they were important, as she saw that every free person in the room had one, but she did not know why.

"Yes, I was there. I saw everything" Rollo's voice was clear, and any doubt seemed gone from his face. He glanced over at Ragnar and Lagertha, then he looked back to the Earl.

"So, who killed my brother?" 

"Ragnar Lothbrok killed him" Rollo's confession caused murmurs to spread through the room, and Tegan nearly lost her grip on Bjorn's shoulder when he tried to shake her off.

"In cold blood?" the Earl seemed satisfied, and nearly happy about how the trial turned out, until Rollo answered him again.

"No Lord, for a good reason" the entire Lothbrok family seemed to breath out in relief. Gyda clutched tighter onto Athelstan's robe, Bjorn stepped back so that his back was nearly resting against Tegan, Ragnar and Lagertha's postures became a little more relaxed, and even Athelstan and Tegan felt a little less anxious. "What Ragnar Lothbrok has sworn, is true. Your half brother was caught raping a Saxon woman then he attempted to rape Ragnar's lawful wife, Lagertha, the shield maiden. So unfortunately, you cannot punish him" Ragnar was smirking, nearly mockingly, up at the Earl as his brother spoke. Tegan could not tell for certain, but she guessed that Rollo had been paid to support the Earl, and betray Ragnar. It seemed that Ragnar had drawn the same conclusion.

The room once again broke into murmurs and whispering as the Earl sat back in his chair. Ragnar sent him a winning smile and held up his wrist, ready to be sat free of the chains. "Now who has the key?"

* * *

 That night Ragnar, Lagertha and all their friends had a feast. Tegan and Athelstan was also there, as they had no other place to be, but they were all sitting a way away from the others. The main group of the party was sitting around that fireplace in the middle of the room, some of them drinking, some of them singing, and some of them talking. Tegan was watching them with a small smile from her place across the room. She had not let go of her brother's hand since Ragnar was declared not guilty of murder. 

"Tegan, what do you think will happen now?" Athelstan kept his gaze forwards, though it did seem like he was looking without seeing. When they returned from the Earl's house, and the men had started drinking, Bjorn had begged his father for a tale. And Gyda had persuaded him to talk of their recent raid in England. Ragnar had lapsed into a great tale about their raid, killings, and the treasure their second trip to England had brought them. The two older siblings both felt sick, though Tegan was certain she stomached it better than Athelstan did. She knew about the cruelty of men, she knew what was to be expected, and had come to terms with this already before Ragnar and Lagertha was due to come back. 

Athelstan however, had lived a protected life in the monastery, and even though he had lived through the horrors of an attack by these northmen, he did seem unwell as Ragnar went into detail of what they had done to the village and the church they found there.

"You mean what will happen to us? Or to the northmen?" Tegan switched over to Saxon, wanting to keep their conversation private despite being in a room full of rowdy and slightly drunk men.  

"To us, and to England." Athelstan switched language as well, and for the first time since the trial, he both looked at and saw her.

"I believe, as long as we live with Lagertha and Ragnar, we will remain safe. Or at least as safe as we can be in this country. And when it comes to England... I believe that they will keep going there. They have found too much riches not to, and while they may be barbaric, they are not stupid"  Tegan's smile was sad, and Athelstan's frown deepened at her words. "You have to understand, dear brother, that there is nothing the two of us can do to stop them. I wish, just as you do, that there was something we could do to prevent them from harming people, but there is little we can do from here. And you have to understand, that this is absolutely not your fault. As I have already said to you, they would have figured out everything you told Ragnar regardless of us being here. The only thing we can do, is stay alive and pray."

Her brother did not answer, and Tegan was sure that they would have to have this conversation again sometime. 

Her attention was drawn away from her brother, who had started to play with her fingers, when she saw Bjorn stumble into his mother, clearly drunk. She shook her head slightly, as seeing children as young as Bjorn drunk was one thing she was not used to. She saw some of the older men tease him, but she could not hear what they were saying. The men surrounding Lagertha and Gyda, who was cuddled up against her mother's side, grabbed a hold of Bjorn and helped him sit down by Lagertha's feet, letting him lean on her knees.

Tegan let out a small chuckle and let her eyes drift across the room. She halted in her movement when her gaze landed on Ragnar and Rollo, who were standing a little away from the others, speaking quietly. They seemed to come to an agreement, and Rollo clasped his brother's shoulder as the two of them chuckled. 

Tegan felt a chill run down her spine, she could not understand how such a tolerable and nice man as Ragnar could be related to someone like Rollo. She knew that the two were very unlike each other, but the differences she saw in the two brother's were astounding.

Another man, whom Tegan did not know the name of, walked over to the brothers and slung his arm over Ragnar's shoulders.

"Let's drink to Ragnar Lothbrok. To his future, and his freedom!" the man exclaimed, raising his cup as he grinned at the man he obviously saw as a leader.

"No, no, no, no. To friends, and freedom!" Ragnar interrupted and raised his massive cup in a toast to the rest of the room. Ragnar's friends cheered loudly, and raised their cups in response, echoing his toast.

One of the men sitting closer to Lagertha got up as Ragnar moved closer to where Tegan and Athelstan was sitting. The siblings had occupied a bench, just the two of them, making sure to create a small distance between themselves and the northmen.

"You will never be free of us!" the drunk man exclaimed, draping himself over Ragnar, although it did seem more like he fell over the taller man. Both Ragnar and his friend fell down next to Athelstan, who moved himself slightly closer to Tegan.

Tegan held her breath as she pulled herself away from the drunk men. She could smell the ale on them, and it was not a scent she wanted to be reminded of. The other men around the room laughed loudly at the drunk man's antics, and Ragnar teasingly kicked him of the bench, where he was now sitting beside Athelstan. 

"Tegan! Will you come here and sit with me?" Lagertha's request startled Tegan and her gaze snapped towards the older woman. Lagertha sent her a comforting smile and beckoned for her to come over and join them. 

"Will you be okay?" Athelstan asked her, sending Ragnar a careful look as he used their shared Saxon language.

"Will you?" was Tegan's reply. Athelstan smiled carefully at her, and nodded assuringly. He squeezed her hand as she stood up, and did not let go until she had to pull herself out of his grip. It was not until they lost contact with each other that Athelstan turned his attention towards Ragnar, who had watched the siblings interactions with mild amusement. 

"You truly care for your sister do you not?" Ragnar asked, though it seemed unnecessary, as the answer was clear as day.

"I do" Athelstan kept his answer short as he switched back to the northmen's language.

"Will you drink with me?" came Ragnar's next question, though it did seem more like a command as he pressed a drinking horn into Athelstan's hand. 

Tegan felt herself tense up as her brother let go of her hand while she moved to cross the room. Her eyes was fastened to Lagertha, who kept smiling encouragingly at her. She was stopped halfway across the room however, by a man she had hoped she would never have to speak to again.

"Hey, I think I might be in the mood for our second round." Rollo was way to close for Tegan's liking. His ale scented breath hit her in the face, and the way his muscled frame towered above her sent chills down her spine, and not the good kind. 

"I believe that now is a bad time. My mistress is calling for me" Tegan whispered out, cursing her self silently for showing her weakness. Rollo glanced over his shoulder towards Lagertha, who was curiously glancing over to them with something that looked like a protective glance, but her main focus was on her daughter, who was whispering something into her ear.

"She seems a little occupied at the moment, if you ask me. I do believe that she would not notice if we sneak away for a bit." Rollo's voice was low and husky, and one of his strong arms wrapped around Tegan's middle, pulling her body flush against his, while his other hand went to cup her cheek. How neither Lagertha, Ragnar nor Athelstan noticed what was going on, Tegan had no idea, but she knew that for the moment, she was on her own, even in a room full of people.

"I don't think that would be a good idea" Tegan muttered, trying to take a step backwards. Rollo had anticipated the movement however, and his hold on Tegan's waist tightened, pulling her even closer to him. His knee sneaked it's way between her legs, pressing slightly upwards, just so Tegan could feel it through the fabric of her dress.

"Hey guys! Look Rollo is getting it!" Someone yelled from across the room, and suddenly all attention was on the pair. Rollo did not seem affected whatsoever, but Tegan could feel her face flush in embarrassment.

"Rollo! What do you think you're doing!?" Lagertha's voice was ice cold, and Tegan nearly flinched, even though the anger in her voice was not directed at her.

"I'm just having some fun, Lagertha. You do owe me, after all" Rollo did not turn to the angry woman, his eyes trailing down and locking onto Tegan's cleavage, where the cliff between her breast peaked form the top of her dress.

"You can have anything but her, Rollo. She is my property, and you will no touch her" Lagertha had stood up now, and she slowly made her way over to them. Tegan tore her gaze of the floor and glanced up at Rollo, who simply rolled his eyes and let her go. He pushed her away from him, causing Tegan to stumble backwards and fall over.

The room was dead quiet. Even the drunkest of the northmen eyed the conversation wearily as Lagertha's shoulder's tensed. The tension in the room rose, and several men got to their feet.

Lagertha's face was set in stone, and even Rollo seemed to shy away from her.

"If you as much as glance at her again, Rollo, then what you did today will be forgotten. If I ever hear that you have touched her again, I will not hesitate to punish you for it. Understood?" Lagertha's voice was filled with ice, and several men in the room looked anxious.

"Understood" Rollo muttered. He threw one last glance down at Tegan, then he stalked away from them, settling down in a corner away from the others.

"Are you harmed, Tegan?" Lagertha asked as she helped Tegan back to her feet. The two women were standing close, and all eyes in the room were on them. Tegan nodded numbly, another shiver running down her spine, seemingly sending her out of her state of shock.

"No, I am fine. Just a little startled" she muttered back, she held her gaze fastened firmly at the ground.

"Hey, something is wrong. I am not blind Tegan." Lagertha's hand grabbed a gentle hold on Tegan's chin and made her lift her gaze. "Now tell me, what is worrying you?"

Tegan did not speak for a minute, and she averted her eyes, looking at the wall behind Lagertha as she took a deep breath.

"Will you... Will you and Ragnar ever... let someone-" Tegan let the sentence die out, not wanting to believe that Lagertha would ever be like her husband, but she could not help but wonder.

"If Ragnar and I will let others use you?" Lagertha's voice was icy cold again, and Tegan's attention snapped back to her face. There was a mix of cold anger, shock and horror that covered Lagertha's expression. Before Tegan could reacted, she was pulled into a tight embrace, Lagertha's arms wrapping completely around her. 

"We will never let anyone use you like that again, Tegan. You are ours now, you are mine, and no one will ever get to touch you like that, ever again. Okay?" Tegan nodded into her shoulder, unable to form propper words to voice her gratitude. Lagertha slung her arm around Tegan's shoulders and led her to the middle of the room, where the two women joined the others around the fire. Tegan was a little vary about the men surrounding her, but she was squeezed between Lagertha and Gyda, and Bjorn had shifted so that he was resting his head against her knee. And as she sat silently and listened to the men around her joking with Lagertha and her children, she felt her shoulders grow less tense. Her shoulders shot back up as Lagertha moved however, the older woman giving her a soft smile as she left the fire and walked over to Rollo, but Bjorn took her place before anyone else could, at a surprising speed considering how drunk he was. 

Tegan did not let her gaze linger on Lagertha as the older woman talked to Rollo, but let her eyes wander across the room and rest on her brother, who was drinking ale with Ragnar. Tegan had been offered ale as well, but she had declined, as the smell of it was making her nauseous.

Lagertha wandered from Rollo over to Ragnar and Athelstan, something Tegan only noticed when the older woman sat down next to her husband. The man that Tegan now recognised as Floki turned to them, though Tegan could not make out what he was saying over the noise in the room, but the others seemed to find it funny. The rest of the evening seemed to pass in a blur of drunken men and joking, and Tegan found herself relaxing slightly, even laughing at some of the jokes that were being told. 

The feast were interrupted however, when armed and angry looking men stormed into the house. Everyone around Tegan rose to her feet, and she hurriedly grabbed a hold of both Gyda and Bjorn.

"Ragnar Lothbrok?" one of them snapped.

"I am unarmed" Ragnar said calmly, holding his hands up. The tension in the room grew as the clinging of weapons filled the air. 

"Get the children, and the siblings" Ragnar muttered to his wife, the only sound other than heavy breathing that could be heard through out the room. Lagertha went to move over to Tegan, Bjorn and Gyda, and that was when everything broke loose. 

One of the angry men were the first to attack, and he went after Lagertha with a roar. Lagertha simply jumped out of his way and let one of the men Tegan had just listened to take care of the attacker.

Lagertha was by Tegan's side in seconds, and she grabbed a firm hold of her children, pulling them to their feet and pushing them towards Rollo, who had rosen from his seat as soon as the attack started. 

"Hurry!" Lagertha shouted, though whether it was to her or the children, Tegan could not tell. She did not have time to ask, as Lagertha now pushed her after her children, past Rollo and to the back of the room, where her brother was covering in a corner.

"We can... we can help!" Bjorn shouted, turning to help his parents and their friends with the attackers, but he was slurring his words and stumbling. And while Tegan knew that Bjorn was surprisingly skilled with a blade, she also knew that the amount of ale in his system were far to much to let him stay in control of his movements.

"Not at the moment, Bjorn. The best thing we can do is to stay out of the way" Tegan shouted back over the commotion. The young boy did not protest, and just stumbled into Athelstan, who jumped at the sudden contact. Tegan pulled Gyda close and huddled the young girl and her brother between her own brother and herself, hoping that their bodies would shield the children, keeping them out of harms way.

* * *

Turned out that Tegan had little to be worried about, as Ragnar, Lagertha, and their friends came out of it with minimale injures. Only a man that Tegan did not know the name of had been killed by Lord Haraldsson's attackers, and while Athelstan, Tegan and the children had stayed inside with the man's body while Ragnar and Lagertha had went outside with the others to pile the dead soldiers into a wagon to be sent back to the Lord.

In the early morning, long after the wagon had been placed in front of Lord Haraldsson's house, the mans wife and adult son made their way through the doors, sitting down next to the body of the older man. 

Tegan had not known him, but he had seemed nice enough the night before, and she was certain that both Athelstan and herself would pray for him, although she was not certain which gods she would pray to, if she would keep to her God, or if she would turn to one of the northern gods. She secretly wished to learn more about them, but it hardly seemed like a questioned to be asked in a setting such as this, and she pushed it away for now.

"He was a good man" Ragnar said softly, speaking to the sobbing wife and the grieving son. 

"The best" was the only answer he got, and Ragnar nodded sadly, leaving the now broken family to mourn on their own.

"We ought to go back to our own farm" Lagertha said lowly to her husband, looking over the now solemn gang of friends that surrounded them. Her eyes drew over to where their kids were sitting, safely between Tegan and Athelstan. The four of them had moved after the attack, and was not sitting on a bench along one of the walls inside the house, but as both Gyda and Bjorn had fallen asleep, the older siblings had refrained from moving to much, in fear of waking them up.

"I agree. I believe that the four of them were scared, the siblings more so than Gyda and Bjorn" Lagertha whispered.

"I think so too. They will have to toughen up soon though, or else I doubt they will survive without us" Ragnar muttered, then he walked away.

 

Life on the farm went basically back to normal after that, though everything was a little more tense than it used to bee. Tegan could not accurately put her finger on it, but she could tell that Ragnar was the source of the newfound tension. Lagertha seemed more weary around him, and even Gyda and Bjorn were more withdrawn.

Everything a new turn a few days later, Gyda and Athelstan was feeding the goats, Tegan and Lagertha was making dinner in silence, and Bjorn was out watching his father chop wood.

The women were interrupted by the sound of something hitting the front wall from the outside, and they both looked up. Not even a moment later, Ragnar had slammed the door opened and stormed into the house. He was frantically digging through the different chests in the house, pulling out something that seemed like one would bring for sleeping outside. 

"Ragnar, what is the matter?" Lagertha tried to ask, but she got no answer from her husband, who only sneaked around them to grab some bread before he again stormed out of the house. None of them made a move to follow him outside, and after a moment of surprised silence, they  both turned back to the dinner.

"Tegan, get the others" Lagertha ordered as they placed the finale plate on the table. Tegan did not answer, she only nodded and walked out to find the others. Gyda was sitting with the goats, and Bjorn had taken over chopping the wood his father had left, but Athelstan was not doing what Lagertha had asked him to. He was leaning against the fence surrounding the farm, and looked up at Ragnar, who had sat down on the hillside near the house. Tegan hurried to usher Gyda and Bjorn into the house before she walked over to her brother.

"Athelstan, dinner is ready" she spoke Saxon to her brother, it was something she had promised herself she would do when they were alone, so that neither of them would grow rusty.

"Hmm?" was the only reply she got. Tegan sighed and put a hand on her brother's shoulder, startling him.

"We have to join Lagertha and the children inside for dinner" she explained calmly, softly turning Athelstan around.

"What about Ragnar, he needs food as well" Athelstan protested, turning back to the northman on the hill.

"Ragnar is a grown man, and he needs more food than what he took from the kitchen earlier, then he can come down and get it. But you need food as well, so do not worry about Ragnar right now" Tegan smiled, trailing her hand down Athelstan's arm and took his hand in hers. Her brother let her lead him towards the house, though he did send a reluctant look over his shoulder.

The dinner went on in silence for a long time, although some of the tension had left the house after Ragnar packed his things and went to the hillside. It was Athelstan who first broke the silence, Tegan could see it coming, he kept glancing up at Lagertha with worry and confusion in his eyes.

"What is Ragnar doing sitting on the hillside?"

Everyone stopped their eating and looked up at him, and Tegan could see how uncomfortable it made him to have so much attention directed towards him. Lagertha's stare was difficult to explain, and for a moment, Tegan fared that she would be angry.

"I cannot tell. Ragnar is a very unpredictable man, and I do not know what he is planning most of the time. But I do know that he is deep in thought, and might need some time alone to think" was the answer Lagertha gave. Athelstan did not seem entirely satisfied however, but he let it go, seeing that it was the only answer he would get.

The rest of the dinner passed in silence, and as soon as they finished, Gyda and Bjorn left the house to continue their chores. Athelstan stayed behind for a bit, but he soon followed the children outside, leaving Tegan and Lagertha to take care of the dishes.

"We never did ask, how did it go while we were away? Nothing bad happened?" Lagertha asked as she worked to clean out some plates with water.

"Everything went just fine. We had no complications, and I believe that we managed quite well. Bjorn and Athelstan did argue... or Bjorn argued at Athelstan when my brother refused to do as he said, but I also believe that they have sorted it out, at least a little" Tegan smiled, wringing a cloth so that she could clean of the table.

"Well that is good. We might need you to do this again sometime, but I am not sure when we will go on our next raid, as everything is a little to tense at the moment" Lagertha said, and Tegan only nodded thoughtfully in response. The silence between the two women were again broken by Athelstan walking into the house. Both of them look up and gave him curious glances, and he looked between them.

"I know what Ragnar is doing," Lagertha looked from Athelstan to Tegan and back, a surprised and worried look covering her face. "he's preparing himself." 

"Preparering himself for what exactly?" Lagertha sighed, though whether it was because of Ragnar or Athelstan, no one really knew.

"I... I don't know, but he seems focused on something. Like he's waiting for something to happen" Athelstan continued, he held Lagertha's gaze for a minute, then he blushed, turning his eyes away from her and to his sister.

"Well, the Earl seemed quite angry that he had to let Ragnar go, maybe your husband is right in his cautiousness. From what I understand, you can be very violent sometimes" Tegan said, glancing away from her brother to look at Lagertha's reaction to see if she had stepped over a line or not.

Turns out she hadn't.

"You might be right. We never know what the Earl might be thinking, and now that we defeated the soldiers he sent, he might even be angrier" Lagertha was thinking loudly, looking between the two siblings, who only nodded in return. 

"What do you think will happen?" Athelstan asked, taking small steps to stand by his sister.

"I really do not know what to expect, seeing how things are now, anything is possible"

* * *

 

Ragnar entered the house early the next morning, sitting down by the table as the others ate breakfast.

"Did you talk with the Gods, father?" Bjorn asked, looking up from his cup of water. 

"They did" Was Ragnar's answer. Tegan could see by his tense shoulders that whatever answer Ragnar had gotten was not pleasing, although with the experience she had from her own God, she was not certain what the man had expected.

"Did they tell you anything?" Gyda asked, glancing eagerly at her father. 

"They did" Ragnar repeated. The rest of the meal went quiet, the others quickly noticing that Ragnar would not speak of what had happened on the hillside. 

After breakfast, Ragnar insisted that Athelstan would join him on a fishing trip, leaving Gyda and Bjorn to take care of the animals, and Lagertha and Tegan to clean up after their meal. The first few moments went in silence, the tense atmosphere from the meal still lingering. Tegan felt nervous and wary, her hands shaking as she used a cloth to clear the plates. 

She nearly jumped as she felt a pair of hands slide around her waist, and hands taking a hold of hers. "You need to calm down. Everything will be fine. Ragnar knows what he is doing, and if something were to happen, I would be there to look after you, to make sure you are safe" Lagertha's voice was calm in her ear. Low and assuring, and her warm hold on Tegan helped calm the younger woman somewhat. 

"I am sorry. I have not felt this nervous since Ragnar took us from England" Tegan sighed, putting down the cloth and the plate. Lagertha's hold on her tightened and they both took a step away from the counter. Lagertha slowly turned Tegan around in her harms, making them stand face to face in the kitchen. 

"What happened when you were taken from England was the best outcome of the situation. If Ragnar had not taken you in, you would have been raped and killed," Tegan did not comment on how she had been raped anyway, knowing that Lagertha meant it could have been worse. "I cannot say that we do not usually do things like that, but that would be a lie. Raids like those are what we live of, that is our income, and while it does bring terror on others, it is our way of life. But there is one thing you can be sure of, and that is that I will not let you go through that again" 

Tegan felt her cheeks redden at Lagertha's voice. It was deep, and warm, and assuring, and filled with something Tegan would have called admiration, had the situation been different. She knew about men and women who preferred to lie with those of their own sex, but she also knew very well what God and the Church though of those people. 

Still, she could not help herself from letting her forehead fall and rest on Lagertha's shoulder and her own arms to wrap themselves around her, breathing in the older woman's scent heavily. They stood there for a while, completely silent in each others arms. 

Then their embrace was broken by Gyda calling for her mother's help outside.

"I will go and see what she needs, you finish up here. And when you're done, please continue with the weaving" Tegan carefully moved out of Lagertha's arms and turned back to the counter so she could finish the dishes. She carefully listened to Lagertha leaving the room, quickly glancing over her shoulder as the woman walked through the doors.

Tegan worked quickly with the dishes, and it did not take long before they were all put away and the kitchen was clean. She then moved onto the weave, struggling for a moment to get started, but once she had managed to get the thread right, she worked quickly with that as well.

She did not know how long she sat there, but after a while she was joined by Athelstan and Ragnar, who both had a basket of freshly caught fish that would needed to be gutted and salted for storage. Tegan had stood up to offer help to her brother, but Ragnar waved her away. She spared a glance over at her brother, who only smiled and nodded for her to continue weaving.

The two siblings worked in silence, occasionally looking over at Ragnar who was lying down on a bench, throwing a ball in the air to entertain himself. Tegan also kept glancing over at Athelstan, seeing that her brother was obviously wanting to ask something, but to cautious to come out with it. She caught his eye and smiled, nodding carefully over at Ragnar. The two of them had been with each other a lot ever since they came from England, and if their friendship had developed as Tegan and Lagertha's had, then one question would not harm.

"May I ask you something?" Athelstan finally said, putting down the knife and a half gutted fish. Ragnar did not answer, just took a firm hold of the ball and moved his head so that he was looking right at Athelstan. "Are we still your slaves?" 

Tegan's fingers immediately paused the repetitive movement of the weaving, and she moved all her attention towards the two men. 

"Does it matter?" Was Ragnar's nonchalant response. He glanced at his fingers, biting down on one broken fingernail. Tegan felt herself grow irritated by his response, but knew that she should expect to die as a slave. She still somehow felt freer that she had in a long time though, which was something she did not know what to feel about.

"It matters because that I noticed that on your world, this world, slaves are treated worse than animals" Athelstan's voice was thinner than when he asked his first question, and Tegan could tell that Ragnar's response had made him nervous.

"Do I treat any of you like animals?" the northman asked, sparing a quick glance over at Tegan. The young woman quietly shook her head, not moving her eyes from her brother.

"I do not believe that was my brother's point, Ragnar" Tegan spoke carefully, standing up from her place at the weave and moved towards her brother.

"No, it wasn't. You could legally beat both of us to death and there would be no penalty" Athelstan's voice appeared calm, but Tegan knew him well enough to know that he was on the brink of panic. She placed a calming hand on his shoulder, and used her other hand to gently grab onto his. "Everyone else in your world is subject to the law, why not you?" 

Ragnar only scoffed and smiled tiredly at the question, and Tegan could not help but think that Athelstan had gone to far. "That is just the way it is"

"I have also been wondering. A man can rape his female slave, but not a free woman? Why is that any different?" Tegan did not know she had spoken until the words had been said, and she felt her eyes go wide as the question rung across the room. Athelstan could feel her stiffening, and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"It is true that we distinguish between those captured in battle, and our own free men and women" was the answer she got, and again, Tegan's body acted before she knew what had happened. 

"I would not call the attack on Lindisfarne a battle. You came and either slaughtered or captured all of us, no one was fighting back" she scoffed. There was no reply.

"You keep saying _'your world'_ , why is that?" Ragnar said after a brief silence, letting his eyes rest on Athelstan. "You live here now too, both of you, this is your world. And I have never seen you try to escape"

When both siblings hesitated to answer, Ragnar gave a winning smirk and went back to biting at his nails.

"We are less and less interested in escaping now. Even if we could. Your people are brutal and raw, where I grew up, women are not taught to defend themselves, we are weak, and Athelstan grew up in a monastery, they do not teach violence. Without you and Lagertha to claim ownership over us, we will be killed quickly" was Tegan's response, after another brief silence. Ragnar did not answer, he just moved his attention to a nearby candle, and started playing with the flame. 

Athelstan shrugged Tegan's hands off of him and walked closer to Ragnar, looking down at the man. "But I would still like to be a free man"

"If it matters so much to you, both of you" was the response Athelstan got, and he looked over his shoulder to smile at Tegan, who gave him a gentle smile in return. 

"It does" Athelstan said as he turned back, his voice now firm and sure, as he felt more secure in what he was trying to achieve.

Athelstan looked like he was waiting for a response, but when no came, he walked closer to the bench and sat down next to the small fire that was still burning. Tegan followed after him, and stood behind her brother with her hands resting on his shoulders.

"What are you preparering for?" Athelstan asked as he examined Ragnar's face. Tegan squeezed his shoulders in warning, hoping that she could signal to him to not push it too far. 

"What do you mean?" Ragnar's response was tense, and Tegan could not help but wanting to step in.

"I've watched you, you're about to do something. You've made yourself very strong" Tegan was unable to hide her smile at her brother's words, knowing fully well that her brother had kept a close eyes on Ragnar ever since he walked up to the hillside.

"Perhaps not strong enough" the tension in the room seemed to both grow and shrink at the same time, and Tegan felt if possible even more uncomfortable than she had only seconds ago. She could not hide the flinch that followed her brother's next words, for as teasing as they were meant to be, the mocking could not be hidden from Athelstan's voice. 

"What do you know about our Gods, Priest. Or you, girl?" Ragnar sat up on the bench and looked over the siblings with a judgemental eye, and Tegan could not helt but squeeze her brother's shoulders just a little more than what was deemed comfortable.

Ragnar got no response from either, as Tegan was to shocked to really take in what had just happened, and Athelstan was trying to stutter out a proper answer. Neither of them had any time to think up an answer before Ragnar abruptly stood up, a angry look taking place on his face.

"Finish the fish, and the weaving. In silence" Athelstan stood up in surprise, and Tegan took a shocked step backwards, feeling her old instincts to move back kick in. None of the siblings said anything after that, both of them quickly and quietly making their way back to their work as Ragnar laid back down on the bench an unseen look of regret and confusion taking its place on his face.

The northman had seen the shocked and almost scared look on the young monks face, and the fact that the girl looked terrified. Ragnar knew that the girl was closer to his wife, so she would be fine. But the scared look that had shown on the Priest's face, and the fact that it was there because of him, because Ragnar had scared him, was not something he liked, and he hoped that he could avoid it in the future. 

 

It turned out that whatever Ragnar had been preparering for would be happening later that day. It was still fairly calm on the farm, just as it was any other day. Lagertha, Gyda and Athelstan was inside, Ragnar was out in the forrest hunting, and Tegan was outside with Bjorn, working to untangle some fishing-nets when it happened. Tegan and Bjorn had a decent and nice conversation going between the two of them, but their talk about good fish were interrupted by a thud and a scream.

The two of them were on their feet in seconds, the fishing net disregarded at their feet as they took in the scene in front of them. 

One of the older men that worked on the farm had been shot, an arrow sticking out of the now dying man's chest. 

"No" Tegan muttered. She did not know the man well, but he had been kind to her while Ragnar and Lagertha was away, helping her in caring for the farm. Completely forgetting that there would probably be more arrows coming, Tegan ran over to the man, falling to her knees in the sand next to him. She fumbled with his hair for a moment and reached down to his throat, checking for a pulse. There was none.

She sighed heavily and stood back up. Bjorn was not at her side, and the two of them, along with others on the farm turned in the direction the arrow had come from. 

A little further down on the beach were the Earl and his men, shields up and weapons ready. 

"Bjorn, run" Tegan whispered, pushing the young boy behind her and towards the house, hoping to get him out of harms way before the men attacked. She was to slow however, and the men riding horseback were hurrying forward before they managed to get out of the way, the men attacking on foot following quickly after.

"Run Bjorn!" Tegan screamed, now turning towards the house herself and sprinting after the young boy, completely missing the attackers that were now cutting down everyone they rode past.

The two of them were nearly at the house when it happened. Tegan had hoped and prayed to any god willing to listen that they would make it back unharmed, and it seemed like her prayers were answered. In her relief she became careless, and one of the attackers managed to reach her. She would not be able to tell where he had come from, and she could not bring herself to care about it in the spur of the moment. The only thing she managed to focus on, was getting Bjorn safely out, and making it back to the house. 

The brutal man showed her to the ground and fell on his knees on top of her, his raised knife shining in the sunlight. 

"What do we have here? Ragnar's Saxon Slut?" the man let out a loud laugh as he let one hand trail down the side of Tegan's face. She struggled in his hold, trying to buck her hips so he would fall of, but her efforts only seemed to amuse him. 

"Imagine all the fun I could have with you" he chuckled, bringing his knife down to caress the valley of her breasts, letting the knife trail down to her left arm, where he put pressure on it, letting the knife slide one inch into her skin. Tegan let out a pain-filled cry as the man dragged the knife down, cutting a bloody and vertical cut in her upper left arm. Blood poured out of the wound in a steady stream and was soaked up by her dark brown dress. 

The weight of the man was abruptly moved and Tegan looked up to find Bjorn standing over her, a worried look on his face. When he saw that she was mostly fine, he reached his hand down to her, and Tegan grabbed on, letting him help her to her feet to continue their run towards the house. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd just like to say that I'm writing without a beta, and I'm not bothering with actually prof-read. I've done it, but it was around 2 in the morning... And I have no idea if I'm gonna manage to keep this going, but for now, I actually feel like writing it ^_^


End file.
